


In Everything I Do

by zipplekink



Series: My Reflection [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Minor Violence, Vampire AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-09
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-03-29 19:09:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3907366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zipplekink/pseuds/zipplekink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This life, it's forever. And Zayn has found his <i>forever</i> but does he want this same life for Liam?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The second part to [My Reflection; All I See Is You](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1013532). Finally:) I've posted two chapters, and I plan on posting two chapters each time since they're short:)

“Tell me again.”

Liam gives him a pointed look, but the corners of his lips quirk up. He turns some to lean over Zayn, just as resistant to the idea of getting out of bed as him, even though he pretends not to be. “I’ve told you a million times, and we have something to do today. We gotta get up, babe.”

Zayn tries to mimic the round of Liam’s eyes when he pouts, and he hopes it has the same effect on Liam that it does on Zayn. “Just one more time, please.”

Liam sighs. He reaches out to touch a finger against Zayn’s eyelashes, so gentle Zayn is pretty sure it’s only his heightened senses that allow him to feel it. “You have these eyes –“

He closes them, trying to picture what Liam sees as he describes his features. But he only sees Liam, stained on the back of his eyelids.

That is all he ever sees, really, when he closes his eyes.

“Your skin gets really red when you drink. Like your skin color darkens, but it also gets really red and flushed like you’re sunburnt or blushing.”

Zayn flutters his eyes open as Liam drags a nail across his bottom lip. Liam looks down at him with a slight pout.

“Not like now. You’re pale. Should probably eat,” he suggests, raising a brown in Zayn’s direction. “I could use some breakfast myself, actually.”

Zayn groans. He woke up three hours ago, and the need to drink has only gotten stronger but the need to stay wrapped around Liam while he snored softly against his chest, seemed more important. Or at least, harder to fight.

So he stayed curled around Liam, ignoring the ache around his teeth and dulling his senses. He needs to work better on a feeding schedule, since he always relied on Louis and he is still having a difficult time adjusting to being without him.

Liam presses a kiss to his forehead, lips warm and inviting but he is pulling away and climbing out of bed before Zayn can pull their lips together and keep him there.

Begrudgingly, Zayn pulls himself out of bed and moves. He gets to the bathroom before Liam, sitting on the edge of the bathtub with a mischievous grin before the man comes in. Liam jumps slightly when his eyes slide over him.

“That’s cool,” Liam says, grin pushing high into his cheeks. “I didn’t even feel you move past me in the hallway.”

Zayn shrugs with a grin. “It’s convenient.”

He stays where he is and watches as Liam leans over the sink and starts washing his face. He’s not sure why he is so mesmerized by it, but he is. He is mesmerized by everything Liam does, really, and he enjoys the red that creeps up Liam’s chest when Liam glances over and sees him watching him.

“What are you staring at? I thought I said you should –“

“Hard not to stare,” Zayn interrupts. “You’re kind of beautiful mate.”

Liam gives him a look but he blushes even harder and looks away. His fingers fumble with the shaving cream that he lathers his jaw with, watching his reflection in a way that makes Zayn envious.

Zayn gets up then, when he grabs the razor, easily plucking it from his fingers. He takes the hand towel and cleans off Liam’s jaw, and nuzzles his own against it before moving his lips to Liam’s shoulders.

“I like the beard,” Zayn murmurs against his skin. Liam is looking at the mirror in front of him, maybe looking to see the way Zayn’s hand looks as it curls carefully around his neck and cups him there, or wishing he could see the contrast of their skin though Liam had been right, his skin is sickly pale, almost paler than Liam’s.

It is only Liam in the mirror though, head tilted back some, and Zayn sees the bob of his Adam’s apple as he feels it move against the palm of his hand.

Zayn wants to see Liam’s expression when he tilts his head and says, ‘Now can you tell me something?” He can feel the way Liam’s pulse picks up under the thin skin and he groans, fingers digging into Liam’s neck softly to tilt his head more.

“What does it feel like? When you um, drink um –“

“Like I shouldn’t but like I shouldn’t do anything else but this,” Zayn murmurs, dragging his dull teeth against Liam’s skin, moving across his shoulder and to curve of his neck. He curls his other arm around Liam’s waist, palm flattening against his abdomen and Liam slides his hand over his almost instinctively to plaster their bodies together. “It’s different, you’re different. Human, animal – dulls the ache, satiates the thirst. Vampire blood makes me feel power. But you –“

He sinks his teeth in carefully, feeling Liam’s body tense in his arms for only a brief moment before he is relaxing, sinking into Zayn’s chest. He wonders what it feels like for the human. He had really never considered it before, never really cared.

The groan that rattles in Liam’s chest that makes Zayn’s eyes flicker up towards the mirror to watch him. Liam’s head tilts back against Zayn’s shoulder, teeth trapping his lower lip and skin so red, speckled and blotchy under the coating of hair across his chest.

Something flickers in the mirror close to Liam and Zayn pulls off, eyes squinting as he stares at the space in front of him. He turns around, with his hands still latched to Liam’s body to look around the small bathroom, seeing nothing.

Liam is cupping his neck where his lips had been, red liquid seeping from his fingers when he turns to face him. There is a dazed look on Liam’s face, and his brows push together slightly in concern.

Zayn would have smelt a vampire before he came in, but nothing but a vampire could have moved fast enough to only catch his eye and then be gone again. He looks back in the mirror, seeing nothing but Liam and the wall behind them.

“What is it?” Liam whispers, turning around in Zayn’s arms. Zayn ducks his head back to Liam’s neck, tongue rolling over his flesh, so the teeth marks dented there will fade within the hour. His senses are clear, and he can tell there isn’t anything other than human around the entire building, except for himself.

“Nothing,” he murmurs, wiping his lips with the back of his hand to press them to Liam’s forehead. He taps a finger under Liam’s chin, tilting his head forward, eyes scanning his face to make sure he is alright. There is still a flush in his cheeks, his breathing isn’t any more labored than normal, and his heart beats steady. Zayn is starting to fall in love with the sound.

“Thought I saw something. I think I’m just tired.”

Liam grins. “Shouldn’t have stayed up so late then.”

“Your fault,” Zayn groans, pecking his lips. “And for your question, you make me feel more powerful, but different, like alive - I haven’t experienced it before, but –“

Zayn presses their lips together, unsure of how to explain it really. Liam doesn’t press for more when he pulls away, but his response isn’t any better, and makes him tense. It curls and tightens in his stomach in a way that would make him feel sick, he knows, if he were human.

“So, what if I was like a vampire? Would it be like then? Even more powerful?”

Zayn frowns at him, the slight thought of it making him panic, protective  -“I thought we had someplace to go.”

Liam rolls his eyes. “Just sayin’.”

“Yeah, well, don’t,” Zayn mumbles, kissing him once more before he is pulling away and padding out of the bathroom to try and make Liam eggs again.

 

Liam links their fingers as they walk out of the apartment building, trying to keep the bounce in his step at bay because he is so excited. Zayn looks nervous, jaw tense and eyes flicking around as they walk like he is expecting something to pop out. It’s Liam’s fault, he knows, because he isn’t telling Zayn where they are going.

“Niall said he was going to have Louis tell you what he knows, about um – you. Did he?”

He squeezes their fingers in case this makes Zayn uncomfortable, but it doesn’t seem to. Zayn nods, the fingers of his other hand rubbing at his chin thoughtfully.

“My name is Zayn Malik, and I am nineteen technically. I had two sisters, and I had been sick and Louis changed to save me. I must have been really sick, because normally we can heal without having to make someone a vampire.”

Liam nods. He doesn’t want to admit that Niall told him this, it feels wrong. Like Zayn should be the one telling him who he is, but he wants to help. He doesn’t trust that Louis will tell him everything, and he should know it all. Including what Liam and Niall know, and then they can figure out the rest together.

They haven’t talked much about it since Zayn came back a few days ago. Liam wants to let him be the one to bring it up so he doesn’t feel like he is pushing him into it, and he really hasn’t been able to stop kissing and touching Zayn since he came back because he missed him those two weeks. So much, it feels kind of abnormal.

“Malik,” Liam repeats, swinging their hands. He feels like a little kid, and he has the urge to skip around. “Payne plus Malik. The carving on the tree?”

Zayn’s eyes widen some, mouth falling open a bit like he hadn’t realized this. His nose wrinkles after a moment, laughter in his voice when he asks, “Do you think I dated your great grandfather or summat?”

Liam nudges him in the shoulder, frowning. He kind of feels jealous, thinking about Zayn with someone else. Even his great grandfather.

And that thought is super weird –

“No, Niall said your sister did.”

Zayn considers this. “What else did Niall say?”

Liam feels disappointed, that Louis hadn’t filled him in more. “He gave me a clue onto who you can talk to so you can find out more.”

Zayn frowns at him, but waits for Liam to continue.

“Mrs. Ramir.”

He goes quiet after that, but he moves closer to Liam, curling an arm around his lower back instead of holding his hand. Liam is more aware of the way their footsteps sync together, the way Zayn seems to mold into his side and fit there perfectly like he was meant to –

And Liam can’t help but think that maybe he is meant to be there. He feels so much better around Zayn, so connected to Zayn and it must mean something that Zayn’s sister and his great grandfather had been connected to. Niall says it’s hard to explain, vampire soul mates –

Liam hopes he is Zayn’s. It makes the idea of being a vampire not so bad, actually. Being with Zayn forever. He tries not to think about it, because then he’ll mention it to Zayn and he had just made it seem like he hated vampires a few days ago.

Even though he has insisted over and over, even after Zayn told him not to, that he in no way hates vampires. Kind of afraid of them, kind of interested by them, but definitely not hate – because that means he would hate something that is a part of Zayn.

“Why would she know anything?” Zayn whispers. His voice wavers a bit like he is nervous.

“I’ll show you, okay?” Liam curls his arm around his back, sliding it up until he can cup his hand around Zayn’s shoulder. “Trust me?”

Zayn nods, teeth digging into the corner of his lip. “Always.”

His eyes are wide, worried and lips tight when they walk past the marketplace that has no closed for the winter. He sees the way Zayn eyes the street name, Crescent Lane before they turn onto it. It is close to where Zayn lived as a human, which is now on the other side of the woods behind the small neighborhood. Niall says it’s where Louis and Harry are now.

And it kind of makes him hate Louis more because Zayn’s been desperate to know who he is for decades, and Louis never told him he lived in his true family’s house.

He had told Mrs. Ramir a few weeks ago that he had wanted to come by and look at her collection of family history, because of the carving in the tree and the signature at the bottom of the drawing Zayn had chosen . _Z Malik_ – at the time, he hadn’t connected the two, nor considered Zayn would be connected to that either, but now there is no doubt in his mind that Zayn drew it.

He just can’t tell Mrs. Ramir that, or he would have to explain how Zayn drew it in _1913_.

“Liam,” she greets politely, stepping aside from the entrance way to let them in. “Zayn. It is very good to see you again.”

Zayn nods, holding out a hand. “You too, ma’m.”

She huffs at him, making a face before pulling him into a hug. His body is rigid, uncomfortable looking and Liam reaches out to press fingers against his spine to help him relax. It’s almost instant.

“My family has always collected and organized family records, photos, little pieces of life and memoires that they can,” Mrs. Ramir starts as she guides them through the house.

“Like the drawing?” Liam asks, and Zayn looks at him with a question in his eyes but he ignores it.

She nods. “I have boxes upon boxes of those drawings. There was a voice at the back of my head telling me to bring some to the marketplace, like they knew you would be able to drag this one from the café.”

Her eyes shine when she looks from Liam to Zayn and he gives her a weak smile in return. Liam reaches over, slotting their fingers together to give him a gentle squeeze.

They follow her through the house to a room that looks quite like a library, but the shelves are stacked with scrapbooks mostly, and only a few old looking books. They are filled mostly with boxes, small ones, big ones, all covered in scribbled writing that Liam assumes to be labels.

“My father’s side is here,” Mrs. Ramir explains, pointing to the left. She walks over, finger scanning over labels until she gets to the second shelf. “The last of the Malik name is his mother, my grandmother, who married in 1923.”

He hears Zayn’s sharp of intake of breath when she says his last name, but she doesn’t notice. She gives them a smile, leaving them to explore.

“Her grandmother was a Malik?” Zayn questions, fingers running over the space Mrs. Ramir’s fingers just left.

Liam nods, reaching to pull a box from the shelf. He sits on the floor, Zayn falling in suit beside him. “Your sister, according to Niall. The carving in the tree, it’s also the same last name scribbled on the bottom of that piece of art she gave you.”

Zayn chews on his lip and Liam can feel Zayn staring at him as he digs through the box. He is still, almost creepily so, and Liam thinks if he had a heartbeat he would be able to hear the loud thud of it.

Also, another weird thought. Liam is having a hard time getting used to this whole vampire thing. It made him angry at first, but it feels impossible to keep feeling that way when he so badly wants to kiss Zayn, and hold Zayn and just be near Zayn because it aches when he isn’t.

The box is full of letters and loose photos, documents folded neatly and stuck in manila folders that look new, like Mrs. Ramir keeps good care of them. He files through them until he finds an old photo, sepia colored, of a woman that looks familiar to Liam, even though he doesn’t know her. He turns it easily, not afraid of ruining it because someone had had it laminated.

_Waliyha Malik, June 8, 1920._

Zayn holds the photo in the palm of his hands after Liam hands it to him, staring down at it with a blank expression on his face. Liam scooches closer to him, knocking their knees together before he continues to look through the box for more, letting Zayn have his moment to take it all in.

“My sister?” Zayn mutters, flipping the photo over and reading it like Liam had. He breathes the words out, eyes wide. “She’s beautiful.”

“She looks just like you.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything and Liam wishes he could read more from his expression, because he isn’t sure if he is overstepping, or if this is too much for Zayn to handle. He feels like Zayn is okay, like whatever connection they have with each other would tell him if he wasn’t.

Liam finds a few more photos of her and hands them to him. His heart races when he finally finds what he had been hoping to find. A photograph of Zayn. _1914_ -

Zayn looks up from the photos in his hand, brows furrowing. “What’s wrong?”

Liam forgets that he can feel his heart beat without being near him. He’ll have to work on controlling that. “Nothing, just –“

He gives Zayn a soft smile before placing the photo in his hands. His brows furrow for a moment, lips parting slightly.

He doesn’t look too much younger than he does now in the photo. His cheeks are a bit rounder and his hair is long, pulled into a pony tail at the back of his head. He is smiling, big and bright. One of his hands plays with the button at the top of his collar, against his throat, a tiny bird stained on the back of his hand. The tattoo that remains, a hundred or so years later.

“That’s what I look like?” Zayn whispers, thumb running over the photo. Liam hums, collecting a few more photos from the box with Zayn in them.

“See, you’re beautiful,” Liam tells him. Zayn looks away then, grinning before he presses their lips together eagerly. He pecks Liam’s lips over and over, a brightness in his eyes that make both of them giggle.

“That’s me,” Zayn hums, showing Liam the picture. The smile on his face is starting to hurt because Zayn looks so excited, so soft and just happy –

“Yeah, babe. Told you you looked nothing like me.”

Zayn wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, I’m not as cute.”

Liam shoves him playfully before digging back into the box.

They spend hours going through the boxes and the scrapbooks, shuffling through the photos of Zayn’s immediate family, and then Zayn’s sister’s family, and Mrs. Ramir’s family. There is a scrapbook of drawings folded neatly between the pages, of tigers and wolves curled around each other, sketches of what look to be Waliyha and Zayn’s mother, and Liam puts that to the side for later because Zayn can’t stop looking at the photos he lays out in front of himself.

“I remember her,” Zayn whispers, lining up the photos in order of generation. He brushes a finger over an older Waliyah, holding a small baby in her arms. “When we moved back here, not from when I was human. She had been a lot older, wrinkled and needed a cane when she came to visit the man that worked the stand Mrs. Ramir now owns. I could hear the weak beat of her heart and it always made me so sick and I didn’t know why.”

“She didn’t recognize you?” Liam frowns.

“Didn’t go up to her,” Zayn admits, shrugging the left side of his body. “Scared me. I thought I would hurt her and I didn’t understand the feeling of protectiveness I felt for her. I don’t like hurting anyone, but it had been different with her. I never considered she could be my family, I didn’t think I had one other than Lou and Stan.”

Zayn closes his eyes for a moment, features crumpling together like he is thinking hard. Liam waits, remembering how nervous Zayn had looked that first time he had seen him in the café. He had thought Zayn had been looking at him nervously, not Mrs. Ramir. “I can kind of remember her.”

“Yeah?” Liam breathes excitedly, watching Zayn’s eyes squeeze tightly. Something passes over his face, something calm that makes the corners of his lips quirk upwards.

“I taught her how to ride a horse. She was afraid.”

Liam smiles big, linking their fingers together. “You remember?”

Zayn shakes his head, but he is still smiling, big and bright like in the photograph of him. “Not really. Just, like a flash of it? It is kind of hard to hold onto.”

“But that’s a good sign,” Liam says excitedly.

Zayn’s eyes open, finding him. “It is, thank you, Liam.”

He cups a hand around the back of Liam’s neck, dragging him forward so their lips can brush together. Liam hums, nudging forward so their lips can slot together for a brief moment.

“Memories are forever,” Zayn mumbles against his lips, eyes fluttering open but he is close enough that Liam can almost feel them graze against his own. “I’ve never had anything close to forever.”

Liam grins before he pulls away to look back in the box, not wanting to tell Zayn that he wants to be something he can have forever, too.


	2. Chapter 2

Zayn is on edge. No one will hurt Liam, he trusts Louis and Harry enough that he knows that. Don’t hurt another vampire’s own, that is a strict rule. Louis wouldn’t because he wants Zayn to stick around, and he doesn’t think Harry is even capable of doing so.

Plus, Niall is outside, because he had insisted on being there if Liam was going to be inside a vampire’s home, his own worries mirroring Zayn’s.

But he is still on edge, given that. Harry is all smiles, bright eyes and kind words and Louis looks much grimmer in comparison. They sit in the living room, Harry and Louis next to each other, Liam and Zayn on the chair. He is aware of how he puts himself in front of Liam, and only notices the way he shifts his body in synchronization with Liam’s every moment when Louis grimaces at him when he does so.

Plus, Liam had been quite upset that Louis hadn’t told him as much as apparently he knows, according to what Niall told him. But Zayn doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter now, because he wants to be friends with Louis, and he cares more about what he can know now that he has something to start with than what he hadn’t been told before.

He just hopes Liam doesn’t say anything to Louis about it.

“The lady at the marketplace is my niece,” Zayn tells him. The small widening of Louis’ eyes tells him he hadn’t known. He wanted to know if Louis knew, to see if he had kept it from him just for curiosity purposes – like he said, he doesn’t care. It had been Liam’s idea to come here, to see if Louis could help jog his memory any. “Great-niece. She has photos of um, my whole family.”

“That is great,” Harry says, genuinely. Liam’s fingers slide under the back of his shirt like he knows Zayn is going to get tense. He is still trying to be polite with Harry, but the years of resentment built up are hard to change. He has forever to work on it though.

Zayn nods. “And I think I remember my sister, like little flashes of memories. I was wondering if um, you could tell me anything about her?’

Louis’ eyes widen even more now. “I didn’t spend much time with her.”

“Nothing?” He hopes the disappointment isn’t clear in his voice, but Liam smoothes his hand across Zayn’s skin so maybe it is.

Louis gives him a long look and ignores the frown Harry sends his way. Louis does the same with Harry, keeping his body partially in front of the younger vampire just in case. “She was quiet,” he says with a sigh. “Very shy. Like you, but you weren’t when it came to her.”

Zayn’s eyes fall shut as he listens to Louis’ description and he tries hard to focus on the image of his sister, her dark eyes and black hair, the color of her skin and sharp but elegant features. She could have been a princess, or royalty of some sort. Even in the civilian clothes she wore in the photographs of her, she looked the part.

“Before you got sick, you used to get into fights because men used to try to talk to her wherever you guys went. Beautiful, you know? Everyone wanted her. When you got sick, you asked me to take care of her because you knew even though I was healing you, you weren’t getting stronger – you were getting weaker, no matter how much I tried to help you.

“The only time I interacted with her was when you were delirious. It was the first time I met Leonard – your great granddad or something, Liam. Not really a nice guy, by the way –“

“Lou –“ Harry scolds.

“Right, sorry. Well, anyway it was a few weeks before um, you were changed, Zayn. You were screaming, and he came in because he thought I was hurting you instead of trying to help. She had been crying, and you thought it was because of him.”

Louis laughs, and it disrupts Zayn’s thoughts for a moment. He can see her face, the soft of her smile, the way she used to look up through her eyelashes shyly whenever someone tried to court her. How she cried when she fell off the horse for the first time and wouldn’t calm down until Zayn said she didn’t have to try again –

“You used to tell me about how stubborn she was and how she never managed to ride a horse but you were determined to teach her, even though you could barely sit up on one yourself. You hated that she had to go into town by herself after you got sick, and you used to tell me to go after her every time. She was always getting medicine for you, and it was making you sicker, but you told me not to tell her that. Thought it would make her upset, because she couldn’t take care of you –“

_“I will take care of you brother, you will be alright – just like you take care of me.”_

_She sits above him, a damp cloth pressing to his forehead. He feels so hot, his head aches and his stomach hurts. Her face is scrunched in pain too, and she dabs the sweat away from his cheeks. Her black hair is pinned carefully at the top of her head, and she wears a pretty pink dress that is stained with specks of blood. Zayn doesn’t know where it came from, but his throat is sore and he had been coughing hard a moment ago -_

_“I will always take care of you, Waliyha. No ailment can keep me from you.”_

_She smiles, but Zayn can see the tears in her eyes. “Rest, my brother.”_

Zayn leans into Liam’s touch when he hears him say his name a few times, but he doesn’t want to let go of the memory, the sound of her voice -

“Where were my parents?” Zayn asks, opening his eyes.

“I don’t know, you didn’t talk about them. I think your mother died before you did and your father was always at the marketplace. He had been a cabinetmaker, I think, designing and selling wood furniture. He used to sell your art, and it made you guys a lot of money, but that stopped when you got sick.”

“I was an artist? I thought you said I was a craftsman.”

“Art is a craft,” Louis grins, a smile on his lips. “Now that I think about it, I should have realized Mrs. Ramir was related to you. That stand she has now used to be your father’s shop –“

He closes his eyes quickly when the memory hits him, full force and dragging him away from the living room he sits in.

_“I knew I would find you in here,” she says, walking into a room that is filled with parchment and tools. It’s one of the unused rooms in the corridor of Zayn’s room now. “Leave your tiger and wolf, and join me outside, brother. The sun could do you some good.”_

_She comes over to rest a hand against his forehead, her voice coated in worry. “You have been looking quite pale as of late. How are you feeling?”_

_He drags his eyes away from the drawing, indeed of a tiger and wolf tangled around each other. Her face is crumpled in concern. He hasn’t been feeling good – dizzy and his head aches so often. It keeps him up most nights, and he is afraid of waking her. “I am almost finished.”_

_She sighs, plopping down next to him. “When will you learn that the wolf and the tiger do not, exist together –“_

_“In my world, they can, Waliyha,” he says stubbornly, tongue pressed between his lips as he continues to sketch out the wolf. It’s a lovely golden brown shade, and Zayn hopes he has been able to draw a kind look on his face like he attempts. “That is what is so great about the imagination.”_

“The wolf and the tiger,” Zayn says. It feels important. There are tigers drawn all over his room upstairs, and he felt connected to the one in the drawing Mrs. Ramir had given him. And the wolf in his memory – it just feels like it is important.

Louis grimaces. “Yes, well –“

“Wolf,” Liam repeats with interest, scooching closer though they are already quite close on the chair. Zayn turns to him, and he is grinning, eyes bright and playful and so beautiful, kind like the wolf drawing in his memory. “My father used to call me Wolfie.”

Zayn crinkles his nose. “Why?”

“I grew up in Wolver-Hampton, known for their wolf population and I use to watch them outside our house and pretend to be them.” His cheeks flush a lot and Zayn can’t help but to run a thumb against them. He wants to kiss him so badly. “I was like six so don’t laugh –“

Louis clears his throat, and Harry’s eyes shine bright as he looks between Liam and Zayn. Zayn hopes he doesn’t cry, because it looks like he might. "Is this helping your memory any?”

Zayn nods. “Yes, thank you Louis. I probably should take a break though, and show Liam around, try to wrap my head around it.”

Louis nods, glancing at Harry for a moment, who is looking amused. “I’m going to talk to Niall, but we’ll be outside if you want to try again.”

Zayn links his fingers with Liam, slowing his normal pace down to walk beside him through the house. “Niall’s here?” Liam asks in a hushed tone.

He nods, grinning. “He wasn’t going to leave you unprotected.”

“M’not,” Liam insists, a grin tugging at his lips too. “I have you. You’ll keep me safe, yeah?”

“Always,” Zayn promises, scraping his lips across Liam’s hairline.

He guides Liam to his room, a bit nervous for him to see it. It isn’t different then he had left it, a bit cleaned up though and that was probably Harry’s doing. Normally he would care that Harry was in his room, because before he had left, there had been a silent rule that he never step a foot in there. But now he finds that he doesn’t mind much.

Liam walks around as Zayn watches him from the doorway, flicking on the light that Zayn usually keeps off. He drags a finger over some of the drawings on the walls, a palm sliding across the sweater folded on his dresser, along the stack of books and tugging gently at the thick, black out curtains in front of his window before he turns to Zayn.

“It fits,” he grins.

Zayn pads up to him, letting Liam slide his arms around his neck and drag him closer. He kisses him softly like he has been craving to since they got here. It feels weird having Liam here in his home –

House, Zayn corrects himself quietly.

_He sits in the room, legs crossed and patting his hands on his legs before reaching and placing them flat against Waliyha’s again. She mirrors his actions as they play patty cake, giggling. It’s their play room, he thinks. There are portraits of them placed above the couch, painted by his father’s brother, who had tried to teach Zayn to paint the same way before he passed away shortly after painting the portraits._

“Niall says we are like true soulmates. I guess it’s like a vampire thing?”

Zayn pulls away from the memory, and looks at the nerves on Liam’s face, and leans forward, kissing his jaw softly until the tension dissipates from his body. He remembers the portrait in his memory from when they first moved in, and it irritates him that Louis didn’t just tell him that was his face -

“I don’t know but Louis said the same thing, kind of,” Zayn tells him. Louis had suggested it before, mostly about Harry and himself, but he doesn’t know much about the lore to know if Louis is being honest. “And it feels like that’s right.”

Liam smiles softly, reaching into his back pocket and pressing a laminated square to Zayn’s chest. “I feel awful for sneaking it out behind Mrs. Ramir’s back, but I thought you would want it and I couldn’t tell Mrs. Ramir and have her notice that you are the boy in the picture.”

It’s the photo of his family, the four of them. It makes his chest feel funny looking at it. He can kind of see his dad, smiling brightly unlike the photo in his hands, when he closes his eyes and concentrates hard enough. But not his mum. He only feels sadness when he looks at her, not that comfort he is starting to get used to whenever he sees a photo of his sister’s face.

Zayn pockets the photo, resting his forehead to Liam’s.

“Tell me one more time.”

Liam snorts fondly. “Look at the picture and see for yourself.”

“I like the way you say it though,” Zayn murmurs, grinning.

Liam puts up somewhat of a fight, but ends up sighing and telling him, tracing his fingers across Zayn’s features like he always does when he tells him, until Zayn curls his hands under Liam’s thighs, picking him up with ease to lay him flat on his bed. He kisses Liam until the shape of his mouth feels imprinted against his own, until everything in his heightened senses is overwhelmed by Liam. The scent of his cologne, the scent of him mixed in with it, the beat of his heart and the taste of the cookies Mrs. Ramir had given them on his tongue -

Until Liam moans softly with a hand quickly going to cover his lips because, “Vampire hearing, babe –“

He can tell they are still outside, a little past the yard, talking in the woods between this house and Mrs. Ramir’s, so they can’t really be heard so Zayn hopes him and Liam can’t be heard either -

“You bite your lip hard,” Liam explains in a hushed tone, fingers dragging in Zayn’s hair as he rucks up Liam’s shirt. “It always gets red like an apple. And your eyes get so dark, black almost –“

Zayn groans, feeling Liam’s cock rut up against his thigh. The sound of Liam’s blood rushing through his body pounds against his ears, and he grinds back against Liam’s thigh until that arousal curls sweetly in his belly.

His fingers work quickly at the button of Liam’s jeans, needing to get them undone so he can feel the thick of Liam’s cock, the way it throbs and twitches every time it pushes out drops of precome –

“You really are beautiful, Zayn –“ His words cut off into a too loud of moan as Zayn pumps his hand over his length. Zayn grins, leaning forward to shut him up, tongue working at the roof of his mouth, dancing with his tongue and dragging along that full bottom lip.

“Nothin’ compared to you,” Zayn breathes, picking up the movements of his hand. “And thanks to you, I can say that for certainty now.”

Liam doesn’t respond, instead covers his mouth and tilts his head back into the pillow as Zayn works him over, desperate to see him come, to feel the way his body tenses before he climaxes, the quake in his legs and the way the muscles of his abdomens dance around -

He bites hard on the crook of Zayn’s shoulder when he does, muffling the wrecked sound that vibrates in his throat. It hurts, but not really, instead jolts pleasure down his spine, and he tilts his head as Liam’s tongue rolls over the dents in his skin that he knows will fade immediately.

Liam does it again as he pushes his hand past the band of Zayn’s pants, palming him through his briefs. He bites roughly at the column of Zayn’s throat, across his collarbones at the center of his chest as he comes. Zayn bites hard on his bottom lip to muffle the sounds but it still seems loud, deafening as he shutters out his orgasm -

“Got a biting kink?” Liam asks, wiggling his eyebrows as he wraps his arms around Zayn’s shoulders and tugs him down until he is lying completely on top of him. Liam is so much weaker than him, but his arms feel strong wrapped around his smaller frame.

Zayn nips playfully at Liam’s cheek. “Apparently.”

“You know what you said earlier? About wanting something that is forever?”

Zayn’s eyes widen slightly but he nods, humming before he rests his head in the crook of Liam’s neck. They should probably get up and clean and go back to Liam’s apartment, because Zayn wants him to get loud when he uses his lips to tell Liam how thankful he is for today –

Liam squeezes him, lips moving to brush against his forehead. “I would like to be a bit of your forever. Like, with yours forever. Be with you, forever.”

Zayn huffs out, sliding his hand under Liam’s shirt to trace shapes with his thumb against his skin. He doesn’t think Liam knows what he is saying, what that entails – “I am yours forever, and you are mine.”

He feels Liam’s smile against his skin, listening to the way he softly hums like he does when he is thinking sometimes. He doesn’t voice whatever he is thinking though, and they lay there for a while until Zayn hears the movement of the other boys around the house, the whispered, “are they ever going to come back down –“ before he tugs Liam out of bed and cleans him off, thankful for the attached bathroom.

Liam sits on the sink, Zayn between his legs as he kisses gently against his throat, hands wiping across Liam’s abdomens. He slides on the sweater from on top of Zayn’s dresser, and Zayn crinkles his nose because it smells like Louis and Harry somehow.

“I used to stand here,” Zayn tells him softly. “For hours and hours, staring into the mirror. I was convinced if I did it enough that my reflection would just pop up.” Liam runs his hands down Zayn’s shoulders, down his forearms and tugs him closer. “It just became comforting after a while, even after I gave up on seeing my reflection.”

Liam tilts his head, waiting for him to continue.

“You made it so I could see my face finally,” Zayn whispers, tucking a finger under Liam’s chin. “And I’ve never known true comfort until you came around.”

Liam grins, pressing his lips to Zayn’s forehead. “I feel the same way. On edge when you’re not around, completely relaxed when you are.”

Zayn nods, eyes bright and wet. “I think we might be soulmates.”

“I think so too.”


	3. Chapter 3

The change in air is immediate, the tension building between the two of them the moment Liam gets his words out. He knew he wasn’t going to get a good response from the vampire, but he still felt comfortable in voicing his thoughts. Nervous, yes, but still comfortable.

Niall gives him a stern look, jaw tense and eyes pointed. It is a bit alarming, but Liam stays determined, knowing Niall is probably just trying to scare him when his fangs appear briefly. He would never harm him, Liam _knows_ that -

“I’m just wondering,” Liam shrugs. It has been on his mind for the past two months, every moment he is with Zayn – thinks about Zayn, when Zayn’s teeth break into his skin and that surge goes through him. It is a really strange feeling, but a really good one. It’s like pleasure pulsing through his veins, curling in his stomach and buzzing around his limbs, but there is something else – like he feels whole, kind of.

It’s really weird.

“Why?” Niall snaps, crossing his arms. “Did Zayn –“

“No,” Liam says hurriedly. He has no idea the extent of Niall and Zayn’s relationship, they don’t interact much unless Liam is around, he thinks. He doesn’t know if Niall will corner Zayn if he thinks Zayn has anything to do with this. Well, he does kind of – but not because he has actually done anything. Liam just fell for him. Soulmates, and all - “Don’t even tell Zayn I asked. I don’t want him to know. That’s why I’m asking you, Niall.”

Zayn is off with Louis at the moment. They have been spending some more time together, trying to get their friendship back to somewhat normal, but Zayn is too hesitant to leave Liam’s side, so Liam has to force him to go. And every time he comes back, Liam feels guilty for making him go because Zayn slumps into the couch beside him and curls around him with a vice grip around his body like he is afraid Liam may make him go again.

And Liam can’t stop thinking about how Zayn wants something for forever. He has been alive for so long, fearing being alive for forever and not being able to have anything else forever with him. Liam could be that – he wants to be that for him.

“You have to die, with vampire blood in you. And drink the same vampire’s blood when you wake to complete the transition.”

Liam nods, teeth digging into his bottom lip. “How long does vampire blood stay in you?”

Niall glares more, reluctant to answer. “About a day, maybe? I’m not really sure. But forget about it, Li –“

“I’m not considering it,” he lies easily.

Niall gives him a doubtful look. “No one is going to change you. Zayn won’t, and I won’t. No other vampire will risk dealing with either one of us if they do. Death, dude. It’s in the handbook.”

“Andy told me there isn’t actually a handbook,” Liam says defiantly, crossing his own arms. It is a childish comment, but he doesn’t care really.

“You’re daft for believing there was one in the first place,” Niall grins, but there is still a tension in his face. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, in a sense. An eye for an eye and allat. Don’t kill someone in another clan unless you want someone of your own to die.”

“But what if someone in our clan was the one who changed me?” Liam says quickly. “I mean, I’m just curious. Hypothetically speaking. Since the handbook also says you can’t kill someone in your own clan.”

Niall just shakes his head, face set serious like he needs Liam to understand. “The only one that can change you is Zayn, and he won’t. There are other things worse than death to a vampire, and the others won’t risk it. And they can’t, if I tell them not to.”

“Well then why can’t you?” Liam insists. That doesn’t make sense. If he just has to have vampire blood, surely someone else can help him without even touching him -

“I won’t,” Niall says seriously. “Zayn is your mate. Leader or not, my position doesn’t really matter here.”

Liam slumps against the couch, not wanting to talk about it anymore, because he thinks Niall is lying now to get him to stop asking. Plus, Niall is right. The few times he had hypothetically mentioned being a vampire, Zayn’s eyes had nearly bulged out of his head like Liam had been turning into a vampire at the very moment.

“Didn’t you say a bit ago ya didn’t understand why someone would want this?” Niall asks softly, reaching out to tickle his fingers against Liam’s ankle.

Liam just shrugs in response. He did say that, when Niall told him he changed Leonard because he had asked him to. But Leonard’s reason to change, to protect his family made sense. Liam’s reason, to be with Zayn for forever, made sense to him too.

“Have you ever met your soulmate?”

Niall grins, the tension easing out of him. “Nah. I haven’t really looked, though. Kind of busy takin’ care of you lot. I think that fit bird from that movie you like might be it, though. Gotta take a trip to the States to find her.”

Liam chuckles, shoving Niall with his foot. “Scarlett Johansson? She is a bit young for you mate, don’t you think?”

“Everyone is,” Niall grins. “I’m ancient.”

He doesn’t really know how old Niall is, but he is guessing over two hundred years. One of the oldest vampires still alive, according to Andy. So maybe older, but he never says when asked. Liam doesn’t even think he knows.

“Why do you ask?”

Liam shrugs. “Zayn is mine, you said.” Niall nods, and the easiness that had just been in his expression slips away. “So if I don’t turn into a vampire, I die, right? Then what happens to him?”

Niall gives him a look that resembles pity and Liam regrets mentioning it. “I think you know the answer to that, Li.”

Liam looks away, his chest tightening. He does, and that is why he brought the conversation up in the first place.

 

_“My beloved,” he hums. Zayn can’t open his eyes to see them, he is too weak, too tired -but he knows they are close to his bedside. “Your brother, I am afraid he is sicker than you thought.”_

_“His friend, the one I told you about will be by tomorrow. He heals him. I do not know how, but he is always better after his friend calls. I have been trying to spy, but the sight only makes me angry, even though I know he means no harm.”_

_“But he becomes ill again?”_

_“Yes, I think he is going to die, Leonard. Soon -”_

_She cries, and Zayn aches to reach out for her to comfort her the way he used to when they were younger, when their mum died and his father refused to come out of his own room and comfort them._

_“I am no more powerful than the vampire who visits him, my love. If he cannot heal him, neither can I.”_

_Something grips tightly at the walls of Zayn’s stomach, his head pounding and his lungs squeeze tightly, lips parting to gasp desperately for air –_

_“Leonard, please –“_

_Her voice is frantic, and a body presses close to him. It isn’t Waliyha, but her soft fingers are on his forehead, wiping at the sweat trickling down from his hairline._

_Something hard and wet presses against his parted lips, and he remembers from Louis, to suck. He does, tasting the rusty flavor run down his tongue, easing the squeeze in his chest but his head still hurts. It’s different than with Louis, stronger here, a power rushing through him and he wonders if this is what it is like for vampires._

_The surge of power is too much for his weak body, and black spots fill his eyes before Leonard cusses angrily under his breath and he is falling unconscious -_

“Zayn.” The voice slides comfort through him, and Zayn tightens his arms around him, blinking his eyes awake. He feels hot, it is so unusual. He is used to always feeling so cold -

Liam is frowning at him, a hand smoothing across his forehead. “Wake up, you’re okay, babe. You’re okay,” he coos softly.

“I feel hot,” Zayn murmurs, nuzzling his face against Liam’s chest, even though his skin is fire too and makes him feel warmer.

“You still feel cool to the touch,” Liam tells him, flatting his palm against Zayn’s cheeks. “What were you dreaming about?”

“Dying,” Zayn answers him in a whisper. He doesn’t remember dying, or what it felt like, but he thinks he might have almost died the night he just dreamt about. Leonard must have saved him, since his story ends before Zayn’s vampire one begins. His sister had begged him to, which means she had known about vampires.

And Leonard’s taste, so similar to _Liam’s._ In his dream, he couldn’t focus his eyes enough to see Leonard’s face really, but there was no mistaking those familiar, warm brown eyes.

Liam’s heart thumps loudly against his chest, and he presses his lips softly over it. He moves his body until he straddles Liam’s hips so he can lie on top of him, hoping that he isn’t too heavy, he just wants to feel Liam’s arms around him.

Liam doesn’t complain, only wraps his arms around Zayn’s lower back like he knows that is what Zayn needs. “That’s something I don’t want you to remember.”

“I should though,” Zayn mumbles tiredly. “So I can know how I became – you know, dead.”

Liam’s heart pounds more now. “But you’re not dead,” he insists, voice tainted something that sounds too sad for Zayn’s liking. His thick brows press together and he pouts.

“I am.” He pushes up on his arms so he can look down at Liam. “Doesn’t feel like it when I’m with you, though.”

Liam’s eyes lights up, a faint smile covering his lips. “Yeah?”

Zayn nods, leaning forward to nuzzle his nose under Liam’s jaw. He wishes Liam could really understand – he feels like his own heart beats when he is with Liam. “Yeah, babe.”

Liam tilts his head on instinct, moving his hands up Zayn’s spine to press firmly against his shoulders. “You can if you need to.”

“Yeah?” Zayn breathes, tongue flattening as it drags against the soft part of his throat.

Liam nods, his breath hitching some. “Yeah, feels good. Really good.”

Zayn doesn’t hesitate like he normally does after that. He has been feeding mostly from Liam, and he isn’t sure if that is what has been causing the rush of memories, sometimes good ones and sometimes in the form of nightmares, or that weird feeling of being human he has been experiencing. Like how he feels hot now.  

Human but powerful, at the same time. It is such a strange feeling and Zayn is becoming addicted too it. The blood bags don’t taste the same, doesn’t seem to satiate the thirst anymore. Only Liam -

Liam drags his fingers through Zayn’s hair, pressing him into the curve of his neck. He moans softly, pushing Zayn so their bodies are lined together better. He pulls away with a gasp when Liam’s fingers dig in roughly, gauging Liam’s dazed expression before he ducks his head back down. The warmth isn’t uncomfortable anymore, and he no longer feels that squeeze in his chest when he thinks about hearing his sister’s voice in his dream.

He feels Liam’s pulse like it’s under his own skin, like the blood flowing through Liam flows through his own veins. It is difficult to gauge where he begins and Liam ends, and he can’t tell if the whispered _I love you_ comes from Liam or his own lips, because they feel like they come from his but his lips are latched to Liam’s skin -

He doesn’t want to pull away, but he does, clenching his eyes because his world always tilts some when he pulls away from Liam. The beating of his heart disappears the moment his teeth leave Liam’s neck, and now he is too aware of which part is Liam and which part is himself, too aware of every part of them that isn’t actually one.

“Thank you,” Zayn murmurs, kissing Liam softly where his mouth had just been. Liam shivers underneath him, arms tightening their hold.

He rolls to the side, adjusting them so now it’s Liam that rests on his chest. He realizes then the sky is dark still and the clock blinks 3 a.m.

“Sorry for waking you up,” he murmurs, curling an arm around Liam’s shoulders and pulling him closer.

“Wanna talk about it?” Liam mumbles, fingers tickling up Zayn’s abdomen. Zayn wonders if that had just felt the same for Liam as it had for him, like they were molded into one being. He doesn’t know what it means, but god he needs it -

“No,” Zayn sighs, cupping Liam’s cheek. He nudges his face until he turns it, chin propped on his chest to look at him “Maybe in the morning, but right now –“

Liam nods in understanding, smiling softly before he crawls up Zayn to press their lips together.

                                                                                                                   

Zayn hates when Liam leaves, but he feels too clingy so he curls on the couch and tries to watch television instead of sneaking down to the marketplace. He will end up there before Liam gets off, hiding in the café, he knows, but he is making progress. The day before he was able to wait two full hours after Liam left before he snuck down there to join him.

It makes him laugh thinking about how desperate he wanted freedom to go as he pleases when he was living with Louis, and now he has it but Liam has this hold on him that makes it difficult to want to do anything other than be near him. It wasn’t what he had expected when he left, but he wouldn’t change a thing. 

He smells Niall before he hears him, his feet not making any noise on the floor but the door knob jiggles. He doesn’t bother getting up, knowing Niall has a key. Even if he doesn’t, there are ways for Niall to get in easily. It should make him nervous, but Niall is the only person he trusts with Liam other than himself.

He is real old, has a lot of control over himself. Even if he trusts the others wouldn’t intend to harm Liam, they don’t have the same control. Zayn isn’t the master of control either, but like always – with Liam it’s different.

“Zayn,” Niall sighs, falling onto the couch with him. “We have a problem.”

Zayn bolts up into a sitting position, only relaxing some when he sees Niall just looks tired, and not how he would look if something happened to Liam. He can feel it when something happens to Liam, but that doesn’t necessarily make him feel better. What if something happens and he doesn’t feel it?

“Well, spit it out,” Zayn urges before Niall has a chance to.

Niall grins, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Liam has been asking a lot of questions lately, about the process and rules regarding becoming a vampire.”

Zayn goes colder than normal, his body stiffening because no – no _, no._

Niall nods, grimacing. “Yeah, that’s how I feel too.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That only you could and you won’t,” Niall answers.

Louis may have sheltered him a lot, but Louis had always told them about the dangers of biting another vampire’s own. He doesn’t know how it applies to humans, because he has never heard of a vampire and a human bond before. He has also never heard of a human being a part of a clan.

He doesn’t know many of the rules in the vampire handbook, as Andy calls it, at all but he trusts Niall. Plus, it works in his favor anyway because if anyone even tried to change Liam -

“And I’ve already ordered the boys not to assist Liam in anyway if he asks them to.”

Zayn nods. It doesn’t really make him feel any better. “Thank you.”

He knows he may have to deal with this down the line, Liam being mortal and not forever – but he refuses to think about it at the moment because the pain he feels when thinking about losing Liam is too hard to handle.

Liam has been making comments about being his forever, but he hadn’t let himself think too much about it. Because Liam is his forever, but his forever would end the moment Liam’s life did.

Niall gives him a nervous look. “But I have to tell you something, and I don’t know much about it because I’ve never had a soul mate before, so you might want to talk about it with Louis.”

“What is it?”

“Being with your soulmate makes you stronger, more powerful. I’ve tried looking into it, talking to others about it, and most people who find their mate turn them.” His fingers tug nervously in his hair when he feels Zayn grow tenser. “It’s even more powerful then. And it becomes hard to resist.”

“Louis didn’t have a choice,” Zayn grits out. He loves the way Liam makes him feel, but he doesn’t care about the power. He doesn’t want this for Liam. “Harry had been dying. I don’t think he knew, at the time what his connection to Harry meant.”

Zayn leaves out the part about how Louis could have saved Harry without changing him because he doesn’t know what Louis had been thinking at the time, why he decided to change him instead of just save him. He had felt Harry when he needed saving, and he is sure it is something to do with that -

Niall nods. “Well, what I am saying Zayn, is Liam is in my clan, but it is your choice to change him, and it is going to be really hard for you not to. But only if Liam wants you to, or is dying. If you do it and he doesn’t want you to, I won’t be lenient with you. I’m not worried about that, but I feel the need to say it anyway.”

“I won’t do it,” Zayn insists. There is no way –

“I know, and that probably won’t matter anyway, because I think Liam wants you to.”

Zayn’s eyes widen. They have only been together two months, Liam can’t be thinking about forever yet. Not seriously, not more than innocent comments about wanting to be with each other forever because they are drowned in this _feeling_ of being together, the honeymoon stage Liam calls it.

Even though Zayn has meant it seriously, because he realized almost immediately that not being with Liam forever wasn’t an option. Because he will die, the moment Liam does -

Zayn leaves Liam’s flat after Niall does. He stops by the marketplace, eyeing Liam for a moment before he keeps going. He watches how he smiles genuinely with every person he interacts, how he can hear the steady beat of his heart and Zayn doesn’t think he would ever do anything to destroy that.

Liam’s eyes flicker in his direction, lips pouting out and eyebrows furrowing before he is reaching for his phone in the pocket of his apron. Zayn quickly leaves his spot, heading in the direction of his old house, feeling the vibration of his phone in his pocket.

He can sense only Harry is there, even though the smell of Louis is powerful. He hadn’t ever noticed when he lived there how powerful their smells are even when they are not around, and he realizes he no longer can smell the scent of Niall on Liam. He has grown so accustomed to it.

Zayn knocks, to be polite, even though technically it is still his house since Louis had told him as much. Harry answers the door barely a second later, a hesitant look on his face, phone clutched in his hand.

He can feel how nervous Harry is, and Zayn understands why Louis is so protective of him. He’s vulnerable, an easy target.

“I’m supposed to call Louis if you show up. I told him he was ridiculous because I trust you, but I can feel that you are on edge so –“

Zayn shakes his head, stepping inside. “I’m not going to hurt you. Angry thoughts about something else, nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, okay,” Harry says simply, grinning. And like that his nerves are gone. “Is everything okay, you look-“ He waves a hand around his own face. “Strangled.”

Zayn considers Harry for a moment. He had planned on talking to Louis, but Harry would be Liam in this situation, so maybe he can help too. “Can I ask you something?”

He looks eager when he nods, and they settle in the living room, Zayn curling up on the spot of the couch that still smells like him some.

“When did you realize you couldn’t live without Louis?”

Harry frowns for a moment before he shrugs. “I don’t know. I kind of always knew?”

“Even right after you changed?”

Harry nods again, without hesitation. “Before that. When he came to me to help me, I felt safe with him.” Realization crosses his face and he follows up with, “Liam feels that same way with you. That he wants to be with you forever.”

“Liam isn’t old enough to decide that.”

Harry snorts. “You do realize normal humans are supposed to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives at his age? He’s like eighteen or nineteen, right?”

Zayn just looks at him. He is right, but that doesn’t mean it is _right_.

Harry sighs, dragging fingers through his hair. “I have no right to tell you anything, you know that Zayn. But hadn’t you always said that you wished to have some form of forever? That Louis and I had forever –“ He grimaces. “Sorry, I don’t mean for that to sound rude, I just remember you saying that –“

Zayn waves him off. “No, it’s fine. It’s just confusing, mate.”

Harry shakes his head, a grin on his lips. “It’s not. You can have Liam forever. I think it’s an easy choice to make.”

Zayn doesn’t agree so he stays quiet. It is a lot more complicated than that.

“You should see the way you two interact with each other. Mirroring each other, and I don’t think either one of you notice it. You’re like Louis, protective. Everything Liam does, you do. Always putting yourself in front of him.”

Zayn grimaces for a moment, not sure if being compared to Louis is compliment or not. Harry doesn’t seem to mind Louis’ protectiveness, but it had always bothered Zayn.

Harry gives him a look like he knows what Zayn is thinking. “I’m too nice, too naïve and vulnerable. Louis protects me because he knows that.”

Zayn nods. “I think Liam might be the same.”

“Turning him could protect him,” Harry offers, shrugging some.

Zayn slumps back on the chair, groaning.

 

_“Let me change him, save him, Niall – please.”_

_Zayn groans, clutching his stomach. Waliyha is weeping, wrapping her fingers around his hands. He doesn’t feel like he is dying, it isn’t the same as before. She isn’t crying because he is dying, she is crying because of Leonard. He remembers, when the blond one came with the news, and he couldn’t get from his bed to console Waliyha who had been screaming –_

_It was later when Louis came that night to tell him what happened that he was strong enough to walk down the hallway to Waliyha’s bedroom._

_“And then I’ll leave,” Louis begs, clutching his hands and his knees wobble like he is ready to fall on them in front of the older vampire._

_“Niall, please –“_

_It is Waliyha this time who speaks this time, her voice soft but strong, pleading but determined. She turns to him, pressing the back of her hand against his forehead. “I will miss you brother, but I know you will come back. And you will be stronger, able to protect me like you insist.”_

_“Always will,” Zayn coughs, wiping his fingers across the tears stuck to her cheek. He tries to give her a smile, but it is weak, he feels so weak, and tired. More so than ever -_

_“Leonard asked me to change him a few weeks ago,” Niall says, kneeling down in front of Zayn. His sharp teeth extend before they sink them into his wrist. It is terrifying and Zayn’s fingers squeeze into the sheets, weak because his head feels like all of his strength is pouring out of him quickly. His head feels like it’s on fire and his eyes roll back before -_

_“He can’t wait until you get your things and leave,” Niall explains softly, pressing his wrist to Zayn’s lips. “Listen to his heart, it is slowing.”_

_The last thing he hears before Niall’s hands grip around his neck is Waliyha’s soft voice, choked from tears and he panics, not wanting her to see what Niall is about to do but he can’t speak, can’t move._

_“Make sure you come back to me, brother –“_

Zayn jerks awake and Liam is right there, a hand pressing into his chest and pushing him back into the mattress. He feels weak again, like he is a dying human and the pulse from Liam’s palm beats at his chest like it’s his own.

“Another nightmare?” Liam hums, sliding his palm across Zayn’s chest and to his cheek, brushing a thumb across his skin.

“Memory,” Zayn corrects, pulling Liam closer to him. “It was Niall who changed me, not Louis.”

Liam breathes in sharply, brows pushing together. “He told me it was Louis.”

Zayn shakes his head. “It was awful, like it was really happening to me all over again. Dying – I don’t want that for you Liam.”

He watches the emotions play on Liam’s face, confusion, realization, sadness – before he sighs. “Go back to sleep, babe. No more scary nightmares or memories, okay?”

Zayn nods, letting Liam rest against his chest. But he doesn’t go back to sleep, too busy listening to the steady rhythm of Liam’s heart, and the way his breath skates across the skin of Zayn’s chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Liam cusses at himself for the way his heart beats too loudly, the way panic buzzes through him because he knows the others inside the house will sense it. His phone vibrates in his pocket, probably Zayn, who somehow can sense whenever Liam is feeling other than fine, even though they are quite a distance apart from each other right now.  

He doesn’t get how it happens, but the other day there was a customer who had been yelling at Liam over something stupid, to the point where he had gotten upset, more so than just frustrated. Zayn had called him before the man even walked away. His first words when Liam answered were, “Liam, what’s wrong –“

It has something to do with their connection, the one that Niall said would probably get stronger the more time they spend together, and even more if Liam were to transition.

Louis opens the door, eyes narrowing. His eyes are nervous though, and they dart quickly around his front yard before falling back onto him. “What are you doing here, Liam? Zayn will have my neck if he knows you are anywhere near here. You know he won’t believe you came on your own.”

“I know,” Liam says quickly, stepping inside without an invite. He is quite positive Niall told Zayn about what they had talked about after Zayn had made his comment about not wanting Liam to die in order to transition, and he rushed over to Louis’ this morning before Zayn could bring it up again. “I just had to talk to you.”

“No,” Louis says quickly, shaking his head. He keeps the door open even though he follows Liam back inside the house. “Absolutely not. I am not getting involved. I’m not risking my neck for you. I don’t like you.”

Liam should be offended by that, but he isn’t. It makes sense, but he thinks maybe Louis should understand that he is the same to Zayn as Harry is to him. And it’s not Liam’s _fault_ –

But Liam kind of doesn’t like Louis, even though he understands why Louis had done half of the things he had done to Zayn. He just can’t get the way Zayn looked those first few weeks he had stayed at his apartment because of the older vampire out of his head.

“I didn’t even say what I’m here about,” Liam says, pouting at him.

Louis sighs, pursing his lips. “I know why you’re here. Trust me. And I’m not helping.”

He turns around and walks off like he is done with the conversation, but Liam is hopeful because Louis has super fast speed and could be gone in a blink of an eye if he really didn’t want to hear it, but instead he walks at a regular, human pace, allowing Liam to catch up with him.

Liam catches up with him in the kitchen, grabbing his arm. It is confirmed even more that Louis is somewhat interested in what he has to say when he lets Liam tug him back easily. Liam can’t be anything but aware of how weak and vulnerable he is in the presence of vampires. “I’ll tell Zayn that you had no choice but to change me.”

Louis gives him an annoyed look. “You would have to be seriously dying, Liam. Like, I can’t save you any other way dying and I have only met one person who I couldn’t save any other way.”

It hangs in the air between them _. Zayn._ “But you changed both him and Harry to save them.”

Louis’ eyes widen some and then he frowns again, crossing his arms. His words are cold, sharp. “I could have saved Haz without changing him but – no, that isn’t any of your business Liam. I’m not doing it.”

Liam gives him a determined look, turning on his heel. “I will do it myself then. I’m sure there are plenty of –“

Before he can finish, Louis grabs his arm roughly, moving him so fast that the breath swoops out of his lungs. He presses his front against the wall beside the door, arm twisted uncomfortably behind his back. Louis’ breath is warm against his ear, and his phone vibrates over and over against his thigh like there are a series of texts coming through.  

“Zayn will be in here ten minutes top, no doubt. Your heart is beating like fucking crazy right now,” Louis grits out. He knows Louis won’t hurt him, but he is still scared. “Don’t be stupid Liam. If you want to turn, talk to Zayn. Because if you can’t handle that conversation, you won’t be able to handle being a vampire.”

The words are hard to get out, because Louis is pressing him so hard against the wall he feels like his chest is going to break. He can somewhat see Harry’s alarmed face when he tries to look back at Louis, and he hears the soft, “Louis, let him go –“

“Zayn won’t, you know that,” Liam argues back stubbornly.

Louis releases him roughly, letting him slump against the wall. Harry is by his side in a flash, cooing to him but somehow managing to throw Louis a nasty look at the same time as he helps Liam regain his balance.

“Exactly, human. Like I said, I don’t like you enough to get on Zayn’s bad side. And I’ve been trying to get on Niall’s good side for a hundred years now. I’m not letting another clan abandon me for you.”

“Pretty sure you are already on Zayn’s bad side,” Liam snaps at him angrily. “And what do you think would happen to Zayn if I die? It wouldn’t matter if you were on his bad side or not, because he won’t be around anyway.”

He pulls out of Harry’s grip and storms out of the house. He feels bad for saying that once he is down the road some, and he considers apologizing but he is also embarrassed and his phone won’t stop ringing.

“Liam, what the hell –“ His voice is just as sharp as Louis’ had been, but panicked and desperate and it makes Liam feel worse. The guilt in his stomach makes him nauseous and tears prickle at his eyelids because he is embarrassed, and frustrated -

“Hey babe,” he says coolly, hoping his words don’t sound too choked. The thud of his heart slows some as he walks towards the marketplace, but he doesn’t feel any better. His arm is sore, and he can see the blossom of bruises against the skin of his arm from Louis’ strength.

“Why didn’t you answer?”

“I’m fine,” he insists, dragging his fingers across his sweaty brow. “I’ll be home in like twenty minutes. I’m headed there now.”

“Liam,” Zayn snaps before he lets out a frustrated noise. “Where are you?”

Liam barely gets out his “at the marketplace” before the phone line goes dead. His heart rate picks back up as he makes his way into the market place, knowing Zayn will be there and he hadn’t considered that maybe he will smell like Louis, and Zayn won’t miss the bruises on his arms.

Zayn scares him when he pops up in front of him, making him gasp and fumble backwards but Zayn is circling an arm around his back before he can fall. Zayn’s face is hard when he grabs Liam under the chin gently and scans his face.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, voice coated in concern.

“Nothing,” Liam lies.

Zayn frowns, ducking forward to press his nose against the ear that he can still feel Louis’ warm breath on.

Something like a growl rumbles in Zayn’s chest, animalist and _angry_. “What were you doing with Louis? Liam, I swear –“

“I went to your old house,” Liam tells him quickly, hands cupping his hips to keep him from running to the house. He will feel bad if Zayn gets mad at Louis for something he had been trying to do.

Zayn tenses, eyes narrowing. “Why the hell would you do that?”

Liam looks around because they are still in the middle of the marketplace for God’s sake. “Can I at least tell you when we get home? If I promise I’m okay?” And so he can have a moment to catch his breath before they have this conversation.

“Would you mean it?” Zayn looks at him stubbornly.

“Yes,” Liam says, trying to wiggle out of Zayn’s grip but he is using that super strength against him to keep him there. “Physically I am fine.”

Zayn frowns, clearly unhappy with this response. “Will you tell me why you aren’t completely fine?”

Liam nods, softening some when he presses his lips to the corner of Zayn’s mouth because the expression he gives Liam tugs too harshly at his chest. “Yes, but at home, please.”

The walk back is miserable, and Zayn doesn’t keep his hands off of Liam as they go which makes him feel awful. The tension in his shoulders, the muscle at the corner of his jaw – it makes him nauseous.

“Tell me,” Zayn says the moment they walk through Liam’s front door.

Liam wipes his hands on his pants, walking into the kitchen for a cup of water because he feels like he is dying from the nerves, his throat is closing up and he rather say it with his back facing Zayn anyway.

“I wanted to see if maybe, I don’t know, he would be down to change me –“

“Liam,” Zayn gasps, a warning in his tone before he is moving, and Liam only knows that because he is crowding against his back a moment later, forehead pressed to his shoulder and arms wrapping around his waist. Liam knows the heart beat pounding in his chest is his own, but the way it beats against his back makes it feel like it belongs to Zayn, too.

Sometimes, it feels like they are one person, that the beat in his heart is the same in Zayn’s, that the coolness in Zayn’s skin also coats his own, that when he breathes, maybe it fills Zayn’s lungs with oxygen too. He doesn’t get it, but it feels significant, and he wonders if this is the connection getting stronger like Niall had suggested.

“But don’t worry, he said no,” Liam says, turning in Zayn’s arms. Zayn takes a step back, and Liam sees that all of the color is gone from his face, almost sheet white with just a hint of his normal skin color, eyes black and angry –

“I would kill him, Liam.”

Liam holds in his shiver from the coldness in Zayn’s voice. “I know you’d say no –“

Zayn is in front of him again, taking Liam’s hand and dragging it up to Liam’s throat. He presses the tip of Liam’s fingers under his jaw, so he can feel the steady pulse underneath his skin. It is a little rougher than the way Zayn normally touches him and he gasps in surprise.

“Doesn’t that feel amazing?” Zayn tilts his head to the other side of his jaw, nuzzling against his skin. “I’m in love with that sound –“

Liam tenses, fluttering his eyes closed because he can feel the tears stuck in his throat and he doesn’t want them to come anywhere near his eyelids. “I’m in love with you,” he mutters back, tugging his hand away from Zayn.

Zayn’s mouth is a hard line when he pulls away, eyes sad when he shakes his head. He presses his palms to the side of Liam’s face, skin cool against his warm cheeks. “I’m not doing it, Liam.”

“What if I was dying?” He says stubbornly, pouting at him. “Would you do it then?”

Zayn glares at him. “You would have to die to change, Liam. It isn’t any different.”

Liam’s mouth falls open in disbelief and now he is angry. “So you would let me die?”

Zayn makes a pained noise before he kisses him hard, pressing him into the counter until it bites at Liam’s lower back. It’s too rough of a kiss, one that is nothing but teeth and the taste of salt because he is pretty sure Zayn is crying too –

Zayn’s body is hard against his, the strength building in his palms against Liam’s face like he is having a difficult time controlling it. He tastes the rusty taste of blood on his tongue, and he isn’t sure who it belongs to but they both groan in synchronization, Zayn’s chest beating against his own, and that similar feeling of being one –

Zayn pulls back with a gasp, chest heaving before it stops completely like any bit of air he took from Liam is gone.

“Can I have more than ten seconds to consider it?” Zayn pleads, eyes wide, desperation coating his voice and expression. “I have hated being a vampire for over a lifetime, Liam. It’s difficult for me to want that for you. And stop talking about dying, okay?”

“But you could be with me for the next lifetime,” Liam pushes. Zayn’s lips part and he quickly adds, “And a forever amount of lifetimes after that.”

“What if you don’t want that though? We have only been together a few months.”

Liam gives him a grin, though it isn’t the moment for jokes. He just can’t help the need to ease the tension surrounding them. He hates it. “Soulmates, remember?”

Zayn makes a frustrated noise, kissing him again. “Just give me time, okay?”

Liam nods. It is a step in the right direction. He can wait, technically, but he really doesn’t want to. “You do have forever.”

Zayn grimaces. “I only want you, Liam.”

He sighs, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “That’s what I’m trying to do here,” he mutters, pressing his lips to Zayn’s chin. Zayn tenses again, and he soothes his fingers along the muscles of his shoulder blades. “Do you feel how strong our connection is?”

Zayn hums, smiling now but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Sometimes we feel like one?”

Liam nods, biting around his grin. “Can you make me feel like that again, please?”

Zayn grins back, sliding his hands down Liam’s body to tug at his hips, pulling him close. “I would love to.”

He cups his thighs, lifting him onto the counter with an ease that Liam still can’t get used to it. “I meant what I said,” Liam pants in anticipation as Zayn noses at the column of his throat. “I am in love with you.”

Zayn nips at him without breaking skin before he is tilting his head towards Liam’s. “I am in love with you too, Liam Payne. I’ve been waiting a long time for you and I’d like to just enjoy it and not talk about what if’s right now, okay?.”

Liam grins, nodding before he leans forward to close the space between their lips.

It’s rougher than normal, but when Zayn lays Liam on his stomach in the room, his lips are soft against his shoulders, kissing every inch of his skin with soft murmured words that make Liam’s chest tighten.

 

That night, after Zayn has fallen asleep with a limp arm wrapped around his waist, he gets a text from an unknown number. His heart picks up, and he is glad Zayn is asleep so he can’t sense it, even though Zayn fidgets and tightens his arm around him in his sleep.

_I’ll help. If we do it my way. Meet me tomorrow for details._


	5. Chapter 5

Zayn doesn’t sweat but he wipes his hands nervously along his jeans before he knocks on the door, listening to the slow way she moves through the house.

“Zayn,” Mrs. Ramir greets with a surprised, but welcoming smile as she opens the door. She offers him inside without question and he gives her a small smile. He probably should have called or something first, but he is still so used to the times when you couldn’t do that, so he hopes that maybe she is too, given her old age. “It is so nice to see you.”

“You too,” he says nervously. He isn’t sure why being around her makes him so nervous still, even after he found out she’s his kin. That should make him feel more comfortable. “Liam’s at work, and I thought you would be there too but you weren’t, so I came to check up on you.”

She pats his cheek. She reminds him more of a mother than a great niece, but that is probably given her age and his appearance. And he doesn’t remember what having a mother feels like. “I am fine, sunshine. Come in, have some tea.”

He can hear the crack of her bones as she moves, the wheeze in her lungs as she breathes. The shake in her hands when she reaches into the cupboard wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone else, but Zayn sees it and he reaches from behind her to grab the cups.

“Oh thank you,” she murmurs, eyeing him slightly. “Sit, dear.”

He listens, sitting at the small round table decorated in floral cloth and she slowly fills the cups with the tea on the stove before carrying a tray over to the kitchen table.

“What else have you stopped by for, then?”

Zayn gives her a surprised look, blowing on his tea slightly. He wanted to soak in the comfort that radiated off of her, because it has been strange with Liam as of late. Being around him is still comforting, the need to be around him is still there, but he has been on edge, afraid Liam will bring up the transitioning again.  He hasn’t, thankfully.

“Oh, I –“

She gives him a warm smile. “Can I tell you a story, Zayn?”

Zayn nods jerkily.

“I used to be afraid of the dark,” she starts, voice shaking slightly. She closes her eyes for a moment as if to remember, smiling softly. “And of the woods outside of my home, the way the trees scratched at the window whenever the wind blew too hard. My grandmother used to come in to comfort me. She used to tell me about how there was this group of protectors who looked out for us.”

Zayn gulps down the tea, watching the glint in her eye when she looks at him. “Vampires. Sounds scary, unbelievable too, but when I was younger there was a clan here and they were protectors. Different from what the myths you have heard about them, I’m sure.”

“Doesn’t sound too scary,” he says quietly, not looking at her. He doesn’t act like he doesn’t believe vampires are real, because he is pretty sure that even people who don’t know vampires exist would go along with the old woman just the same. “When you call them protectors.”

She reaches out, laying the back of her hand flat against the table and he takes the hint, placing his own on top. Her fingers are warm, and her bones feel so fragile under his. Even more fragile than Liam, who Zayn thinks is the most breakable thing he has ever touched.

“I met one of them when I was younger. A man from Ireland, very kind. Funny, quite the charmer, but you could tell he was something different than human. I didn’t understand why he was there, but my parents had been upset, and scared and it made me scared. But when he showed up I felt protected, and he took us to a place where no one could harm us. I use to feel that same comfort, that protection, whenever you sat at the café, my dear.”

Zayn stiffens. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

He is panicking slightly, and he probably shouldn’t tighten his grip on her hand because she is so fragile but she only squeezes back, unaffected.

“I know every photo in that room back there. It took me awhile, but I remembered why I felt comforted by you. My grandmother never stopped talking about you, her protector. Her big brother. The reason we had those protectors. She used to tell me they were there until you came back.”

Zayn bites hard on his lip. He can’t deny it now, and he doesn’t want to. He wants her to feel comforted by him. The only memories he has been able to retrieve as of lately have been about how he hasn’t been able to comfort his sister.

“I didn’t remember her at all, until recently. And I always felt a need to be at the café, close to you. I didn’t know we were related until I came here that day with Liam.”

She nods, sliding her fingers away from him to sip at her tea. “Well, I am glad you did. I can tell you about her, if you’d like? I don’t think I could ever forget her. She was a wonderful woman.”

Zayn smiles. “Yes, please.”

 

It is dark by the time Zayn leaves Mrs. Ramir. He calls Liam to make sure he is okay before he drags himself through the forest behind her home. He closes his eyes, remembering Waliyha’s giggle as they chased after each other, the way his father used to yell for them to come back. But there was always a fondness and amusement in his voice, never stern. Almost as gentle as his mother -

_He is young, fingers squeezing her slender fingers. Her voice is soft, and it is the only thing that Zayn has ever known that could compare to the comfort he feels with Liam, with Mrs. Ramir. She is beautiful, a soft face and kind smile, his eyes and nose, lips the same shape as his own._

_“This way, my child.”_

_“Coming, Ammi.”_

_She smiles softly again, bending down to pick him up. He is too big for her to carry, but she manages without any strain in her aged face. He giggles when their noses nuzzle, before she is turning him around easily and lifting him closer to the apples that dangle off the tree._

_“One for Baba, one for you, one for me. Two for Wally –“_

_His mother laughs and it is a beautiful sound. “Of course, my boy. Two for Wally. How about you get one for James too? Him and his Papa will be stopping by later -”_

Zayn reaches for an apple that dangles from the tree, just a bud and not even close to being ready for picking. He wonders if anyone comes out here to pick them when they are, or if the people in town have forgotten about this place like he had.

There is a tight feeling in his chest, and he smiles softly because it’s a good feeling. His mother’s face sticks to his eyelids, beautiful and kind – just like his sister, like Mrs. Ramir.

“I thought that was you.”

Zayn doesn’t budge, having heard his footsteps on the soft ground before he spoke. He drops his hand from the apple, giving Louis a small smile when he turns around to find him standing a few feet away, hands shoved into his pockets and a sheepish smile on his face.

“I just remembered my mum for the first time, taking me apple picking,” he tells Louis, turning back around to touch the apple again. _Ammi_ , he thinks.

Mrs. Ramir had spoken a few words of Urdu to him, and he had _understood them._ He can’t even begin to describe the way that made him feel. Almost as whole as Liam makes him feel.

“Have you been remembering a lot of things then?”

Zayn drags his shoe against the dirt. “Not many good ones. Mostly being sick, and my sister being upset. You. It’s a slow process.”

Louis nods, and Zayn listens to him move closer, feet dragging noisily. “I’ve always hoped you would remember. Do you think Liam being around has anything to do with that?”

He turns around, shrugging his shoulders some. “Probably helps. But knowing my family probably helps more. I don’t think I would have had the courage to start learning if it weren’t for him coming into my life.”

Louis gives him a jerky nods, neither one of them voicing the fact that Zayn leaving also probably had something to do with it too.

If he tries hard enough he can almost smell Liam, more so than just the scent that lingers on his own clothes. It’s not comforting though, when Louis takes a step forward and it gets stronger and Zayn realizes the smell is coming from the other vampire and not himself. Something possessive runs through him and his eyes narrow, teeth extending and digging into his bottom lip.

Louis must feel the shift in the air and he grimaces, hands going up instantly. “Right, I’m going to explain. I’ve meant to talk to you actually. About Liam – so um, I guess now would be a good time to do that.”

Zayn tenses even more. Louis looks regretful, shy and a bit nervous and he hasn’t known that Louis in a long time.

“Okay,” he drags the word out, trying to be patient and not grab Louis and rip the scent of Liam from his skin. They are working on having a normal friendship, so he shouldn’t do that. He knows that.

But it is hard to be rational when it comes to Liam.

“I told Liam I would change him.”

Zayn doesn’t move, but stares at Louis, hearing the anger pound in his ears and his fists clench by his sides. “Louis,” he growls instantly, the calm that had settled around them disappearing quickly.

Louis’ waves his white flag hands, like he knows Zayn is a second away from closing the space between them and tearing through him. “He is insistent Zayn, and he told me you said you needed your time to consider it so I’ve just been trying to hold him off. Make him think we are preparing for it or whatever. Just to give you some time to be ready to do it yourself. I’m not going to.”

Zayn drags a hand down his face, huffing out. He still can’t believe Liam went to _Louis_ , of all vampires. And not him, even if Niall told him he wouldn’t do it – still.

And he can’t believe that even after their conversation, Liam went back to Louis -

“I’m going to have to, aren’t I?”

Louis gives him an apologetic look. “He’ll die in fifty to seventy years, mate.”

“And that is a little piece when it comes to forever.”

They both nod, and Louis comes close, holding his hand out for Zayn, no longer afraid Zayn is going to snap. “If you can’t do it, I can, Zayn. But only if you want me to.”

“Thanks Lou,” he sighs, ignoring Louis’ hand to hug him. It is a bit awkward, but he closes his eyes and seeps into it until Louis rubs his hands down his back and hugs him. Zayn definitely doesn’t want him to change Liam, and he knows Louis knows that, and that’s why he doesn’t say it.

“One more thing,” Louis says, pulling away slightly. That nervous smile is still on his face but there is a seriousness in his eyes that reminds Zayn of how he used to tell them about the rules of being a vampire – how serious they were.

“If Liam dies, that means you will too. Don’t try and argue that.” Zayn doesn’t, just nods at Louis’ words. He knows what he is going to say next, and he gets it. “So I can’t promise that when it comes time for that, I won’t actually change him. Even if he is a gray old man. Or if something happens to him before that. I can only promise that I won’t change him because he asked me.”

Zayn nods again. “I know, Lou.”

Louis cups the back of his neck. “I really love you, Zayn. Not the same like, from before. And I am sorry for that – those years that you felt pain by it. But I still need you to know that I am on your side.”

Zayn nods, chewing at his bottom lip – an old nervous habit of his. “I know, Lou.”

By the time Zayn finally drags himself back home it is late. He can hear Liam snoring softly when he enters, and he is quiet as he tip toes through the apartment to find him in the middle of the bed, an arm curled under the pillow he sleeps on.

Zayn strips off before climbing into bed, curling around Liam’s back and pressing a palm to the middle of his chest to pull him close. He isn’t ready to lose the sound of his breathing, the steady beat of his heart, the warmth his skin provides. But he won’t ever be ready to lose Liam.

Liam shifts, snuggling back against his chest, his arm leaving the pillow to curl his fingers against Zayn’s. “Okay?” He murmurs sleepily, followed by a yawn.

“Mhm,” Zayn hums, pressing his lips to Liam’s shoulder. “Go back to sleep babe.”

“Don’t wanna,” he says, but his eyes remained close and his body relaxes until his breathing evens out again a few minutes later.

 

_“Zayn, Zayn. It’s me, Lou –“_

_Zayn moves backwards, his body moving so quickly that it takes him by surprise. Blood coats his shirt, browned like it had been stained a while ago. Fear pounds through him, but it’s overpowered by everything. The bright of the lights, the smells swarming him, the sounds deafening against his ears –_

_The boy, Lou, gives him a terrified look, reaching out for him but Zayn moves farther away._

_“I don’t know who you are?”_

_He looks around. He doesn’t know where they are either. It feels familiar but he can’t figure out how. He doesn’t know where he is, what he is, but he knows this – this power surging through him doesn’t feel right._

_Lou frowns at him, hand falling away. “Louis Tomlinson. You’re Zayn.”_

_Zayn. He doesn’t know if that’s correct but he nods in understanding. It feels right, kind of – maybe. But he doesn’t know._

_“Why do I feel like this?” He murmurs, hands moving against his chest and then to the pulse point under his jaw. He doesn’t know anything about himself, but he knows he is supposed to be feeling a beating heart there –_

_“You’re a vampire, Zayn.” Louis grimaces slightly, moving closer but it’s only a hesitant nudge forward, like he is waiting for Zayn to run away. He is considering it, to be honest. “You’re a vampire like me -”_

Zayn wakes, slowly pulling away from sleep. It’s one of his clearest memories, the one he always considered his first memory. He used to cling onto that when Harry first came around, how Louis made him feel so comforted. But nothing like Liam -

He jolts when he realizes the warmth is missing from beside him, and he reaches out to touch the sheets that are too cold. He closes his eyes, listening but Liam isn’t in the building, isn’t even anywhere _near_ the building. He can’t control the panic that goes through him because Liam doesn’t work today, and he hadn’t left a note, a text –

Zayn bolts through the apartment, looking for something that Liam might have left for him. There’s nothing.

He calls Liam, three times with no answer. It doesn’t feel like there is anything wrong, but Zayn doesn’t trust their connection enough. He isn’t used to it, doesn’t know how reliable it is.

He calls Niall, who picks up on the third ring. The words are fast, probably difficult to understand, but he can’t help it. “I woke up to Liam being gone and he won’t answer my phone calls and I can’t sense him anywhere Niall, please tell me you know where he is –“

“Zayn,” Niall repeats over again until his voice is sharp and demanding to be listened to and it makes Zayn’s lips close immediately. Leader of the clan, Zayn reminds himself before he can panic at the fact that it had not been himself who made his lips snap shut.

He finds himself moving to place himself in front of the mirror, trying to capture that comforting feeling it used to give him, staring at the lack of reflection.

“Focus, and see if you can sense Liam.”

“I tried –“ he starts, but Niall interrupts again.

“I mean close your eyes, and feel Liam like you do when he is upset.”

Zayn clenches his eyes closed, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth just because it still somehow calms the panic in him even though he doesn’t need to breathe. After a long moment when Zayn is about to give up because he is wasting time if there is something wrong, he feels the sensation of pounding under his feet, a beating in his chest and wind being blown past his cheeks. Running –

“He’s running,” Zayn says, keeping his eyes closed. It is the strangest sensation, how he can feel the rhythm of Liam’s lungs as they expand in his chest.

Niall laughs and Zayn opens his eyes, stilling when there is a flash in the mirror.

He closes his eyes, opening them again but it isn’t there anymore. He ignores Niall, reaching out to touch the cold glass because he definitely knows what he just saw – his face, an expression of annoyance and anger. The same emotions that he feels at the current moment.

“Zayn,” Niall says. “He is just out for a run, probably. Weird that you can sense that, dude. Seriously.”

Zayn shakes his head roughly. He must have just imagined his reflection, his desperation to see it finally getting to him. “Sorry, Ni. Louis told me Liam asked him to change him last night, and I guess I just jumped to the worst.”

But he isn’t really feeling better. He needs Liam in his hands, right in front of him, in order to accomplish that.

“Louis won’t,” Niall says roughly. “He can’t face the repercussions.”

“I know,” Zayn sighs, quickly moving into the bedroom to put on clothes before he goes outside. “I’m going to find Liam, sorry again.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Niall chuckles. “It’s kind of cute.”

 

Liam breathes heavily, resting his hands on his knees. His heart pounds in his chest from the running, but panic grips at his chest too and he closes his eyes, trying to control his breathing. It is the weirdest feeling, because he knows the panic isn’t his.

He had tried running through it before he realized – Zayn. He probably woke up earlier than Liam had planned for and panicked because he wasn’t there. But Liam just needed to clear his head.

His fingers fumble on the phone, seeing the three missed calls and yeah, definitely woke up too soon. He starts to call Zayn back but –

It’s another weird thing, how he can feel when Zayn is near. The instant calm, the shift in the air even though Zayn barely makes a sound when he moves. It has gotten stronger, and Liam doesn’t know if that’s because they have been getting closer generally, if it is because Zayn has been drinking from him more or if it is because Zayn’s slowly remembering more of who he is.

Liam doesn’t mind, though. It just fuels his want to be a vampire even more.

Harry has told him what it’s like between him and Louis, the bond they share. It resembles theirs so much, but stronger.

A breeze rushes past him and he chuckles nervously. Something brushes against the back of his neck, but when he turns the scent of Zayn’s shampoo only lingers in the air for a moment.

“Zayn,” he chuckles again, looking around because he isn’t quite sure where Zayn could be. He feels him close though.

Zayn appears on his side, fingers pinching at his hip. “Race ya?”

Liam snorts, but turns and takes off towards his apartment anyway. Zayn runs beside him, a grin on his lips as he turns around and runs backwards, wiggling his eyebrows. It’s nice, he has been jumpy lately, that _Zayn_ look on his face again –

It’s Liam’s fault, he knows.

“You okay?” Zayn asks, slowing his pace as Liam does.

“Yeah, you?”

He had been worried yesterday, when Zayn was had been gone for most of the day. It was unlike him, really. He is normally always by his side, even if he tries to hide that. Liam can always sense when he is around.

Zayn nods and he looks shy almost when he says, “Got a little nervous when you weren’t here this morning.”

Liam stops and Zayn does too, closing the space between their bodies without hesitation. Zayn palms rest against the side of his face, eyes wide and holding a broken look that makes Liam feel sick.

“Thought you like –“ Zayn chews on his bottom lip. “You know. With Louis.”

Guilt fills him, and that explains the panic feeling he had felt during his run. It was more than just because Liam hadn’t been in bed.

“Like you said, Louis can’t help me with this,” Liam says softly because he isn’t sure what else to say. “So don’t worry.”

“Doesn’t make me feel better,” Zayn admits. “Louis always does things he isn’t supposed to do and I know how determined you –“

Liam shuts him up when he presses their lips together and Zayn is only still a moment before he kisses back, gentle and careful with him.

“Come on,” Zayn mumbles, the corners of his lips quirking up like he has gotten the hint – let’s not talk about it now. “I have something to show you.”

 

Liam knows where they are, even though Zayn had ran at what he thinks might have been his full speed and he had missed most of between here and the apartment. They are in the woods between Mrs. Ramir’s house and Louis’.

Zayn looks warm and soft when he links their fingers, walking him through the woods like he knows where he is going.

“Did you remember something?” Liam offers after a quiet moment.

Zayn bites around a grin, stopping in front a tree with tiny buds on it. Liam has no idea what grows in the spring time. Zayn reaches out, fingers tickling one of the buds.

“My mum,” he admits. He doesn’t look at Liam for a moment and when he does his smile is one of the brightest Liam’s seen on him. “I didn’t realize how important it was for me to remember her until I did. It was just one memory, here – when I was little.”

“That’s really great,” Liam breathes, matching Zayn’s smile with one of his own. Happiness warms through his chest because he just –

It used to keep him up at night, the worry of forgetting his mum. If he would forget the way her perfume would tickle his nose when he hugged her, but he had always craved that familiar scent for comfort anyway. Or if he would forget the sound of her laugh, the one that Liam always thought was fabricated because mums are supposed to laugh at their child no matter how unfunny they are. But he had realized that it was filled with nothing but genuine fondness.

Little things that can’t be held in a photograph, he had been worried about forgetting. But Zayn, Zayn only has a photograph, no memories. He can’t imagine what that feels like, at all.

“Yeah.” Zayn’s smile softens, and he squeezes Liam’s fingers. “I don’t want that for you, Liam.”

Liam stiffens, mouth falling open some. He was waiting for Zayn to bring it up again after their first conversation, but he hadn’t.

Zayn moves so he is facing Liam. “Just listen, okay?”

Liam nods.

“I don’t remember what it’s like to be human truly, and I think even if I had remembered when I first became a vampire, I wouldn’t remember now after all the time that has passed. I just remember when I woke up, I felt wrong. But I didn’t know why.”

Zayn places two fingers under Liam’s jaw, a thoughtful look on his face before he presses up. His eyes squeeze shut into a look of concentration and his breath catches. So does Liam’s.

He lets his own eyes flutter shut, adjusting to the sudden way they feel like one, and Zayn isn’t even drinking from him -

Zayn pulls away and Liam opens his eyes to see Zayn staring at him, a smile on his face.

“It’s getting stronger, easier to feel like that,” he says. “I don’t know what it feels like for you because it is difficult to decipher what is me and what is you, but it makes me feel human. I have the sensation of a beating heart, of my lungs expanding and collapsing as it sends oxygen through me.”

Guilt fills Liam, he hadn’t even considered –

Zayn shakes his head like he can read Liam’s thoughts, and Liam considers the fact that maybe he can. At this rate, anything is possible.

“I’m saying, it really sucks being a vampire,” Zayn says. He cups Liam’s face, his fingers cool where they press into his warmer skin. “But if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have met you. And that really outweighs any bad.”

Liam nods, lips shut tight because he can tell Zayn isn’t finished, and he needs to understand what he is saying. He feels the same, that it outweighs the bad. Thinking about his parents hurts, it really hurts, and Zayn doesn’t make it _okay_ , but he no longer feels like he is dragging himself along and leaving little broken pieces in his path.

“And it could let me have you forever.” Zayn smiles softly, but it isn’t necessarily happy. “I always wanted forever, and I want you forever. But is it okay if I just – can I have this you for a little longer?”

He looks desperate and Liam can’t help but nod. His own hands come up, covering the ones Zayn has pressed to his cheeks.

“Is that okay? We can talk about it again in – well, Liam I don’t know when just not right now?”

“I only want to be like you so I can be with you,” Liam tells him softly, nuzzling into the palm of his hand. “Forever. So I’ll drop it for now, if we can talk about it again.”

Zayn nods. “Yeah, I promise, babe.”

 


	6. Chapter 6

_The scent hits his nose before Louis’ fear does. He smells unfamiliar, but Zayn knows he is a vampire. He hasn’t been around any other than Louis and Stan before, but he knows._

_When he feels Louis’ fear shift through the air, Zayn’s mixes in with it. Louis isn’t afraid of anything. He shifts in the bed, fingers sliding across the cool sheets that Louis once occupied._

_He listens, not leaving the bed because he knows Louis will be mad if he does. Stan is moving around too, not as afraid but on edge. Stan is never afraid, and he thinks that is why Louis isn’t as strict with him. As protective –_

_“Louis. I know you’re in there.”_

_The voice feels familiar, but Zayn hasn’t ever heard it. It makes his skin crawl and he hides further under the comforter, even though it does little to hide his own scent._

_“What do you want?”_

_Louis’ is making his way to the front door, but it isn’t opened. The stranger is still outside._

_“I would just like to talk, mon amour.”_

_That’s sadness now that mixes in with Louis’ fear, but then anger. It’s strong and it makes Zayn gasp slightly._

_“You have no business here, Ben. Please leave –“_

 

“That is so strange,” Liam grins goofily, pressing his hand to Zayn’s cheeks. His eyes crinkle some, and Zayn can’t help the fond smile that covers his lips. “Your skin is still cool even though it feels like the sun is setting fire to my skin.”

Zayn crinkles his nose, wrapping his arms around Liam’s shoulders, trying to shake off the sudden intrusion of a memory. It isn’t one from when he was human, so he doesn’t understand why it just came to him like that. “Guess you have to use my body to cool down then.”

 

Liam shrugs his shoulders, pulling a face like he rather not. “Yeah, I could. But like the ocean is right there –“

Something unfamiliar hits his nose then, suddenly and Zayn can’t focus on it enough before Liam is taking his hand into his own and tugging him down the slight hill, sand kicking from behind his heels before he is splashing through the water, where he can no longer smell it.

Zayn groans. He hates the water, but he loves Liam so he’ll deal.

Zayn clings to him, wrapping himself around Liam’s back as he tugs him deeper, easily carrying him through the water.

“Why are you afraid of the water? You can’t breathe,” Liam says when Zayn gasps as Liam ducks his head under the water and drags Zayn down with him.

“You do,” Zayn grunts out, squeezing Liam tighter. “And I don’t know what kills vampires, but I’m pretty sure being eaten by a shark would mean I’m dead.”

Liam snorts. “There are no sharks here.”

“How do you know?”

Liam just sighs, shaking his head before is moving again through the water, bringing them back to where Zayn’s toes can actually reach the soft sand under the water.

“Come on babe. Don’t wanna be late for work,” Zayn says, sliding his lips against Liam’s wet and salty skin.

“Don’t wanna be late for your coffee date,” Liam teases, sticking his tongue out at him. Zayn is just happy he accepted Zayn’s inability to stay away from him.

Mrs. Ramir is home for the day, so it’s just Liam running the stand. He has been visiting her more, by himself but also with Liam. He could listen to her talk for hours, about his family, and her life – about how she met her husband, whom she hadn’t loved because she had given her heart to John, a factory man she had met a few years previously.

_“I only spent a short time with him, but I loved him the moment we met. My husband and I were together for twelve years before he passed and I never felt the same towards him –“_

She tells him about the birth of her children, and how badly she wished her grandmother could have been there.

Waliyha. Zayn likes when he talks about her the most, and the stories that Waliyha used to tell Mrs. Ramir -

Not all of his memories have come back, but many have. The important ones, at least. Who he is, what his mother, father, and sister look like. What they sound like.

And he’s good with that. He just lets them slide into his thoughts, not wanting them to disturb the time he is enjoying with Liam.

Zayn presses his lips to Liam’s cheek, saying goodbye before he makes his way to the café, settling in his normal seat. He doesn’t order, because the waitress is already making it, expecting him.

Over the last few months, he keeps thinking he is seeing his reflection. Tiny flashes of himself in the mirror, the window of the café. He can’t figure out the pattern, or why his eyes may be playing tricks on him each time, but it has happened enough times that Zayn is having a hard time convincing him that it isn’t happening.

“Niall, can I ask you a question?”

Zayn watches Liam from where he is sitting as he holds the phone to his ear. Some man looks to be yelling at him and Liam’s face is red. He wants to run over there and throw the guy across the marketplace but he stays rooted in his spot. Liam glances at him a few quick times, like he can tell Zayn is getting irritated

“Yeah. What’s up?”

“Can you see your reflection?” Like now, Zayn could have sworn he just saw a faint outline of his face right in front of him on the window glass.

Niall pauses. “Nah. Reckon I’m better lookin’ than you lot, though.”

Zayn grins. The man leaves, and Liam shakes his head, before going farther into the stand where Zayn can’t see. He doesn’t see his reflection again, even when he tries really hard to picture what he looks like in his head.

“I reckon so,” he answers distractedly.

“At least you have pictures now, mate. Don’t get too hung up on it. Go kiss your boy -”

The smell from earlier tickles at Zayn’s nose and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. His body tenses as he sniffs again, turning around in his chair to find the scent. Nothing stands out to him, and the people around him are the regulars.

“Niall,” Zayn whispers urgently. He doesn’t know the smell, but it’s a vampire and he isn’t sure how close it is. It’s not in the café, but it’s definitely in the marketplace. “There is another of us here. Marketplace.”

“What?” Niall says, voice instantly rolling into something that sounds more like a growl.

Zayn slips out of his seat, dropping a few bills on the table before he casually walks out. If he can sense a vampire, then the vampire should be able to sense him too. But if he can’t tell who the vampire is, maybe the vampire can’t tell who he is.

“I don’t know them,” Zayn explains, focusing on the scent shifting through the air. “Not gettin’ a good vibe from it, either.”

Liam comes out of the shop, eyes wide and frowning as he looks towards the café shop. When he doesn’t see Zayn, he searches through the crowd for him, face relaxing some when he spots Zayn. He sends a confused expression his way.

“I’ll be there in a blink –“

The phone clicks dead as Zayn makes his way to Liam, who disappears from his vision as someone steps in front of him.

He is wearing a black, fitted suit despite the heat and his hair is slicked into a neat quiff from what Zayn can tell. He is definitely the source of the smell, because it radiates off of him.

Zayn watches as he goes to move his hand and he takes off, not caring about the fact that they are in public. All he cares about is that vampire’s skin is touching Liam’s as their hands close around each other.

“Nice to meet you, Liam?” The man says, and his voice sounds eerily familiar but Zayn doesn’t know it. He looks old, old as shit and there is a slight accent tinting his words but Zayn can’t put a finger on it.

Zayn places himself roughly between the man and Liam. He barely budges, proving to Zayn that he is quite old like he had suspected. His eyes are electric blue, jaw sharp and covered in a stubble of hair. He grins like something is funny, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. Dangerous, Zayn can tell.

“I apologize,” the man says, looking between the two of them. “I mean no harm.”

“Then leave,” Zayn says through his teeth. Liam’s fingers dig into the back of his tank top. Zayn doesn’t want to scare him but he needs this vampire to get miles away from Liam.

The man smirks again. “Brave and so young.” He clicks his teeth, and as his smile widens he can see the fangs that dig into his lower lip.

He turns his eyes to Liam and Zayn takes a step towards him until his hands go up, teeth pulling back. “It was nice to meet you, Mr. Payne.”

In a blink, the man is gone and Liam’s fingers squeeze tighter into Zayn’s shirt. “What’s wrong, Zayn? You’re scaring me. Who was that?”

Zayn turns. He cups Liam’s face, searching it and making sure he is okay, even though he saw that the man hadn’t harmed him at all. He just has to check anyway.

“That was a vampire.”

Liam’s eyes widen and Zayn feels when the panic flows through him. He shakes his head, pressing his fingers into Liam’s cheek so he will look at him.

“You’re fine,” Zayn assures him. “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

“Good thing you were in that café,” Liam jokes but there is no humor in it. Zayn doesn’t laugh.

Zayn doesn’t leave Liam’s side but he lets his hands drop as he attempts to go back to work and stays alert as he listens for the vampire’s return.  Niall arrives about two minutes after the vampire left, a threatening look on his face.

Niall comes right up to Liam, reaching out for him and Zayn, already on edge, hurries to get in between them because the look on Niall’s face makes protection surge through him but Niall puts a hand up and his feet get stuck to where they stand.

He brings Liam’s hand up his nose, face crumpling in concentration. “It’s familiar,” he mutters, dropping Liam’s hand. “But I have met a lot of our kind. Why did he come up to you?”

Liam shrugs, looking confused and overwhelmed. Zayn is able to move, sending Niall an irritated look before he slides a hand across Liam’s lower back.

“I don’t know. He asked me if I was a Payne.”

“He was old,” Zayn adds. He tries not to focus on how angry it makes him knowing the vampire knew Liam’s name. “Not much younger than you.”

Niall’s eyes widen. “Close the shop down, Liam. And let’s go.”

“Who is it?” Zayn insists as Liam starts doing as Niall says without question.

Niall doesn’t answer right away. “Call Louis. Tell him Ben is back.”

 

“What do you mean Ben is back?” Louis says the moment he storms into Niall’s house. He tugs Harry in behind him, walking past Sean, Andy, Zayn and Liam to go straight to Niall, who stands with two fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Liam,” Niall says offhandedly, waving at Liam, who Zayn has not let leave his side. “Sean, go to Paul, get as much information on Ben and his clan that you can. Call Ollie and get him and the guys here. Andy –“

“They have to stay,” Zayn insists. “We are only six, four without them.”

“We need back up,” Niall insists, pointing a finger at the two younger vampires to tell them to get going. “And to figure out what his plan is. If he went straight to Liam, he must have known he would be sensed. He had to have known you were there.”

“He said he meant no harm,” Liam pops up, voice quiet.

“What is going on?” Louis yells. “How do you know it is Ben?”

Liam tries to leave Zayn’s side, but Zayn moves with him, to wave his hand in front of Louis’ face. It’s immediate, the way his face changes into realization and panic.

“If it’s Ben, he means harm. He has been after me for over a hundred years, but he lost his clan. He must have built one back up. Sean, Andy. GO.”

Louis grabs Liam’s hand and he breathes in sharply when Louis’ nails dig too roughly into Liam’s skin. Zayn swats Louis’ hand away with a glare, and Louis ignores him, reaching out for Liam again more carefully this time.

“That’s definitely Ben. He wouldn’t want anything with Liam –“ Louis’ eyes widen as he cut off and he turns to Niall, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. “When was the last time you lived here? For a long period of time?”

Niall shrugs, looking irritated. “I left shortly after you did? 1918?”

“And where were you in 1956?”

“Louis –“

“Seriously, Niall,” Louis urges as the rest of them watch on quietly. Liam sinks into Zayn’s side, tucking his head into the crook of Zayn’s neck.

“Wolver-Hampton,” Niall says, glancing at Liam briefly. “And then Romania. I don’t think I came here -”

“Ben came here in ’56 looking for you. He said he had met up with you in Wolver –“

“I haven’t seen that twat since Leonard died,” Niall interrupts roughly.

“I’m just saying Niall, maybe he is here for you.” Louis points to Liam. “And how do you find Niall? Go where the Paynes are. And a Payne here, that can’t be a coincidence.”

“Then why wouldn’t he have come to Wolver-Hampton,” Liam says, frowning. “I’m pretty sure we always lived there.”

Niall tenses, wiping a hand down his face and huffing out. He looks uncomfortable, and Zayn keeps his eyes on Niall as Louis responds to Liam, so he doesn’t miss the flash of hurt that crosses his face.

“Beats me.”

Niall and Zayn’s eyes connect for a moment and he grits his teeth before turning away and pointing at Louis. “Louis, go to your house. I have a feeling he might show up if you’re there, and tell you what the hell he is doing here.”

“But, Harry –“ Louis argues, brows furrowing.

“- Is going to go with Zayn and Liam to Zayn’s niece’s house.” He turns to Zayn now. “Tell Mrs. Ramir that I, make sure to tell her my name, need her to bring Liam to the shed, just say it politely. And if she would please stay there as well.”

“No,” Liam says before Zayn can get a word out. He looks between Liam and Niall, confused and alarmed because Liam looks suddenly angry. Zayn can feel that he is suddenly angry.

“Yes, Liam. Only place you’re safe,” Niall says, and even though he isn’t using his authoritative tone, there is still no room for argument in the way he says it. “Ben knows you’re my biggest weakness, and also the one person here who has the worst chance at protecting yourself.”

Niall glances at Zayn, something in his eyes that tells him that there is something else he isn’t saying, but to trust him anyway.

Liam pushes past where Zayn is standing in front of him, mouth opening to argue but Zayn places a hand on his chest and pulls him back. “What is it?”

“Vampires can’t go in there,” is what Niall says as Liam says, “A way to keep me locked up.”

Zayn is on board.

“I’ll drag you there, Liam,” Zayn tells him and Liam gives him a stubborn look, fists balled up by his sides but he doesn’t argue.

“What are you going to be doing then?” Louis asks, hands on his hips.

“I have to take care of something. I’ll meet you guys back here in an hour.”

 

“She knows about vampires?” Harry whispers in his ear as they follow Mrs. Ramir into the collection of trees behind her house.

Zayn only nods, distractedly. He doesn’t want to leave Liam’s side, but he trusts Niall, and if Liam can be in a place where vampires can’t get into, than that is where Zayn needs Liam to be – even if Zayn hates that he is going to be somewhere that _he_ can’t get to.

“The flowers do the trick,” Mrs. Ramir explains, as they walk up to a small shed, nearly completely covered in dark purple colored flowers. “This has been here longer than me.”

Mrs. Ramir reaches for the door, her fingers shaking as she does and Zayn reaches past her. The moment his fingers hover over the handle a feeling like knives stabbing into his skin cover his body and he gasps, pulling his arm back roughly.

“Vampire proof,” Mrs. Ramir reminds him, smiling softly. He is glad she hadn’t asked too many questions when he had given her Niall’s message, and she was willing to comply. Protectors.

She opens the door, and Zayn tries his best to look inside but he doesn’t see much. There is a small window beside the door, and it is dark inside. He clutches onto Liam’s hip, not wanting to let him go.

“What if something happens to you?” Liam murmurs quietly, eyes going wide and lips pouting out. “And I can’t –“

“Help me?” Zayn cups his cheeks, tilting his head slightly so he has to face those puppy eyes. “You can’t, babe. Here you’re safe. I’ll be worthless helping them if you’re out there with me.”

Liam nods, sucking in his bottom lip. He tangles his fingers in Zayn’s shirt and he leans forward, pressing their lips together softly. “Just don’t make me wait here for too long.”

Zayn nods, smiling weakly. “My sense of time is different than yours.”

Liam snorts, shoving him slightly before pulling him back, pressing another kiss to his lips. “Jerk.”

“Love you,” Zayn says, grinning too.

“Love you more,” Liam sighs, not loosening the grip he has on Zayn’s shirt. “Do you think maybe you can get some things from my flat? Just in case I’m here awhile? You don’t have to meet Niall for another thirty minutes.”

Zayn nods, listening as Liam lists a few things off. He presses his lips to Liam’s forehead when he’s done, and Liam finally loosens his grip before dragging his feet into the shed behind Mrs. Ramir.

“I’ll catch up with you,” Harry says when Zayn turns to him. “Gotta take care of something.”

Zayn doesn’t ask, and he doesn’t warn Harry to be careful either because he should be in that shed too, just a baby compared to the rest of them.

When he gets to their flat, he gets one of Liam’s duffels and stuffs it with the items Liam asked for, even though he is pretty sure there is no electricity in that place for him to watch his Supernatural.

He is frustrated, overwhelmed and confused because he doesn’t understand the extent of the threat. He just knows the look on Niall’s face made him want to listen to everything Niall said, because he hadn’t thought Niall and scared ever went together –

And he feels like the clan leader is hiding something, and if it has to do with Liam, Zayn needs to know.

Zayn presses his face into his hands for a moment, trying to remember more of Ben. He had only come to the house a few times, always staying outside and Louis had never let Zayn leave the bedroom when he had been there.

_“Let’s start a new clan together. Get our home, back –“_

_“I have my own clan. There is a reason you don’t have one, and I’m not letting you ruin mine.”_

_“Oh, mon ange. You’ll end up ruining your clan yourself. You’re not that different from me –“_

Guilt fills Zayn’s stomach when he remembers that, remembering that night being the one nights he had seen Louis cry. _He is trying to make it seem like he loves me still, but I know better Zayn, it just hurts -_

He is barely through that thought when he realizes he isn’t alone, but before he can turn there are fingers circling his neck, a force turning his head that is stronger than human, but not as strong as himself. He is caught off guard though, everything happening so fast, panic pumping through him that he can’t focus on his senses, his strength -

There is a distant _sorry_ , whispered and muffled and hard to focus on as a sharp pain erupts under his jaw and everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the cliffhanger

_“It’s not that easy to kill a vampire, dumb ass. He is fine, trust me –_

_“Well, sorry if I don’t believe you. You don’t actually have heartbeats or pulses for me to check –“_

_“Liam, please stop crying it makes me uncomfortable –“_

_“Why won’t he wake up –“_

_“Someone attack Liam. I bet that will wake him up –“_

_“Louis –“_

 

Zayn blinks away, groaning slightly because he feels dead – well, he is dead but he feels like absolute shit, like he slept wrong during the night.

“Zayn?”

Zayn blinks his eyes open, alarmed because Liam’s voice is watery, slightly panicked but relieved and his heart is beating rapidly. His palm is placed on Zayn’s forehead, brushing his hair back soothingly.

His head feels funny, like mush and he thinks he has a headache, reminding him of those dreams he has of him being sick, or dying.  

Liam leans forward and presses their lips together before he can say anything, and Zayn tastes the salt on his lips, feels the way his breath gets choked up in his lungs.

“Liam,” Zayn says, cupping his cheeks and pushing him back slightly.

Being in Liam’s house, his neck breaking.

He pushes up fast, and Liam gasps slightly, dodging Zayn’s path not to knock heads with each other but Zayn cups his fingers around Liam’s shoulders and moves him onto the bed he had been laying on with ease. They are at Niall’s house he thinks, because it reeks like Andy and Sean, probably upstairs somewhere.

Everyone is downstairs, including Louis and Harry, and the air is tense – cold. He can feel the anger, the nerves -

“Who did it?

Liam shrugs, fingers folding into his lap. “We were hoping you would know.”

Zayn hesitates, feeling the way Liam’s heart rate picks up again. He wants to ask, but then Liam starts filling him in with what he has missed since he was killed – fake killed?

Which, according to Liam, had been nearly fifteen hours ago, and it is nearing sunrise. He is wearing different clothes, which are definitely Liam’s.

“I felt it,” Liam says quietly, resting his palm against Zayn’s chest. His eyes water some so Zayn places his hand over Liam’s, linking their fingers together. He hesitates, eyes widening some as he clears his throat -

“What, Liam?”

“I passed out,” he says quietly, grinning some and Zayn frowns back because it isn’t funny. “Not for long, and Harry couldn’t get into the room, so he went to our apartment instead – figured something was wrong with you. And when he came to tell me you were okay, I made him bring me here.”

Liam is going to have to go back to the shelter, but right now he just wants Liam’s heart to calm and soak in his scent and his warmth.

“You know,” Liam grins. “Niall brought a girl to the shelter.”

Zayn stares at him, not understanding. Niall doesn’t have any family.

“Human. I didn’t talk to her much, because I was trying to convince Harry to bring me here. And you could literally feel the rage coming off Niall when he found out something happened to you, so I didn’t get around to asking either.”

“Huh,” Zayn says, grinning. “If we don’t know about her, I don’t think Ben does.”

Liam shrugs. “Precaution, you would do the same wouldn’t you?”

Zayn nods, tilting his head some. “I don’t even know the danger we are facing and I’m getting ready to run you back there.”

Liam gives him a pointed look before he starts to explain.

“Every clan leader Niall tried to get ahold of has been killed. By Ben, and he has their clans now. A vampire rule, I guess?” Liam looks at him questioningly, bringing his hand and Zayn’s to his lap. Zayn shrugs. “And it’s all because Ben wants this town back. Strange, innit? This town isn’t like, I dunno. Don’t get why it’s so special.”

“It is,” Zayn says, moving close to cup Liam’s cheeks. He presses a kiss to his forehead, lightly. “This town – it’s the only place our connections have crossed paths more than once. That we know of, at least.”

Liam smiles, eyes wide and his heart starts racing again.

“Liam –“

He cuts off, feeling a prickling sensation travel down his back, making the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. He breathes in deep, focusing on his hearing but his senses are dull, and he aches –

“Can I?” Zayn says quickly, and Liam eyes only widen slightly before he is tilting his neck. It is hard, not focusing on Liam as he builds his strength, but focusing instead on the sound and scent of vampires, not far off. A few miles, maybe.

“Keep going,” Liam says quietly, cupping the back of his neck. “Need to be strong for when they get here.”

Zayn pulls back, tongue sliding against his lower lip. “They are coming now.”

Liam frowns. “Then come, on –“ He presses firmly on the back of Zayn’s neck. “Don’t worry about me just –“ Zayn groans, sinking his teeth back in as he listens to the commotion downstairs, the others sensing the group of vampires making their way towards them. They run out, forgetting them -

_Don’t worry about me_

Zayn rips away from his boyfriend, eyes wide. A few miles away is hardly five minutes, and Liam isn’t at the shelter –

“Liam,” he gasps, pulling Liam to his feet so roughly that there may be bruises later that he will apologize for.

Harry bursts through the door, eyes wide in alarm. “They are headed off to meet Ben. I didn’t know if you were awake, and since Liam is here, Niall sent me to -“

Zayn doesn’t think before he is pressing Liam into Harry’s chest, hands gripping Liam’s cheeks to kiss him roughly before he lets Harry take him. If he can get Louis’ mate out of here too then – “Take Liam back to Mrs. Ramir’s, yeah? And stay there, Harry.”

Harry nods with understanding, Liam sends him an angry look he knows he can’t dwell on or apologize for because he can hear them. Liam makes him feel powerful, like he could take on Ben himself despite their age difference, and he can hear every footstep –

“Zayn,” Liam protests, but Harry has a firm grip on his arm.

“I love you Liam, yeah?” And then he runs off, hoping Harry is strong enough to overpower Liam’s determination and stubbornness, and get him to safety.

And keep himself safe, too.

 

They are at the back of the woods, at the edge of town where the trees are scattered a bit more that the sun actually can find the ground.

There isn’t hundreds, but there are at least thirty of them, maybe. Clans run small, apparently, because if every alpha Niall tried to contact had been killed, than Ben hadn’t taken over many clans, or they were all made up of a few like Niall’s.

It’s still more than their five piece, and Zayn can’t gauge how old any of the other vampires are. He would have to touch them, or get real close and he rather not.

“Thank you for finally joining us,” Ben says, grinning at Zayn when he pops up behind Niall. Niall doesn’t look at him, but he presses into his lower back so he can feel that he is okay. Fed, s _trong_. “You’re the mate, aren’t you?”

Something surges through Zayn and Louis is at his back, fingers gripping into his shirt as if to hold him there. “He wants you to attack, so his clan will attack back,” he whispers urgently. “So don’t do that, yeah?”

“I’m sure you’ll be interested then,” Ben says with amusement as he takes a step closer. His clan doesn’t move behind him in suit, but the five of them take a step forward. “I would have liked to have Liam here, as well –“

“Not a chance,” Zayn growls, wishing Louis would let him go. Just hearing Liam’s name come out of Ben’s mouth makes rage flood through him.

“Don’t interrupt,” Ben says, holding his hand up and the amused grin he wears makes Zayn want to kill him more so than the fact that he is mentioning Liam. “I was going to say, I would much rather have Liam here, since we are discussing the death of his parents –“

A growl rumbles in Niall’s chest.

Ben raises his brows, looking at Niall now. “See, I thought maybe you hadn’t caught on, when both James and John died unexpectedly, exactly a year after their first child’s birth. Especially since – oh, what was it that I said? ‘You have a long life, my friend – expect to suffer throughout it?”

“What are you going on about?” Zayn says, agitated. He can feel how Niall gets angrier with each second that passes by, and it is making it difficult for to keep his feet planted where they are. Louis presses closer into his back like he can tell, but the way Zayn feels at the moment, he might be able to overpower the older vampire for the first time.

Ben ignores him, going on unaffected. “Then I considered maybe you didn’t care as much as I thought you did, since you hadn’t even attempted to drag them out of Wolver-Hampton. So I waited a bit longer with the last one. Geoff, right? His son was weak, unhealthy and I had been hoping he would have another, you know. In case that one died off -”

Niall grabs Zayn’s arm the moment he puts together what Ben is saying, to keep him in place as Zayn jerks to move forward. How can Niall be so calm? Why are they just standing here?

“Get to the point, Ben.”

“So you did know?” Ben hums, raising an eyebrow and clasping his hands in front of him. “I was just wondering.”

Niall growls and the clan behind Ben steps forward, and then two steps past Ben to block him.

Niall did know, Zayn is sure. Ben is saying he has been killing off Paynes for years, waiting for them to start the next generation so he can keep going.

And Niall clearly hadn’t done anything to stop it.

“I was going to wait for the boy to procreate, but seeing as he is with a vampire – and soulmates too, if their behavior is any indication – I have decided there is no point is there? Might as well use him as my leverage to get this town back -“

Niall lets Zayn go and he takes off without hesitating. It is a blur after that, faces he doesn’t recognize coming at him but he sinks his fingers into the neck of each one of them, an anger like he has never felt surging through him.

It is a fight all around, nearly all of them heading straight for Niall but Sean and Andy are by his side, the three of them dropping the vampires with ease because they are young – around Harry’s age or younger. Louis is by Zayn’s side, but each vampire dodges Louis and goes right to Zayn, allowing Louis to get them from the back.

“Neck,” Zayn tells Louis, when he sinks his fingers into one vampire’s back. “Don’t kill them.”

They are only in Ben’s clan because he had killed their leader. They are following commands, probably. No one should die, just _Ben_.

When about half of them are fallen, Zayn looks around for Ben, wanting to just go straight to him to get the others to stop fighting. But when he sees Sean drop, at least fifteen vampires go straight for Niall. Louis and Zayn don’t hesitate into rushing over to fill Sean’s place.

It might be the blood, or the thought of Liam that seems to make him feel so strong. He can feel that Liam is afraid, and it’s probably because he feels Zayn’s anger, his sadness for Sean, his own worries about not being here because the stubborn sod thinks he can help in some way and it’s just one of the many things Zayn loves most about him, even if it is frustrating and worrying -

Or maybe they can share strength with each other, even when apart.

“ZAYN!”

It’s Louis’ voice, shrill and panicked, and it shoots through him like a knife. Zayn finds him immediately a few feet away, going cold because he isn’t looking at Zayn though and it pours down onto him, the smell, the feeling, the _proximity_ -

The panic flowing through him makes his chest feel like it is being pounded with an organ that hasn’t moved in over a century, but it’s not his heart beating like that, it’s the ghost of one – the one that he has been so reliant on feeling just for an ounce of comfort.

He is turning on his heel, his body sensing him before his eyes do, his name rolling off his tongue but it sounds echoed, distant. The blood in him pounds against his temples, strengthening him -

Niall is faster than him, but slow to react, and no matter what power Liam provides him, he isn’t faster than Ben, and he is much closer, his skin is already on Liam’s, fingers digging into the curve of his neck.

It’s slow motion, the way Zayn’s feet pound into the ground, the way the vampires stop around him suddenly and Niall, finally catching on and running, nearly plastering himself to Zayn’s back, reaching past him as Zayn’s hand goes out.

Liam’s eyes clench shut, wrinkles creasing in his forehead as Ben twists, knees buckling when air rushes past his lips. Zayn is an inch away, fingers grazing Liam’s abdomen as he sinks to the ground.

Zayn collapses, his own knees buckling and he thinks he hears his name maybe, under the inhuman sound that leaves his lips. The pounding in his heart stops abruptly, and for the second time in twenty four hours, everything goes black.

 

Niall doesn’t know where he came from, how he got here or why Harry didn’t keep him the fuck away, but the rage pours through him as he hears the snap, the last breath. He was supposed to protect Liam. The reason he took him out of Wolver-Hampton was to save him –

And it back fired.

Zayn’s body collapses in front of him and he doesn’t hesitate before he reaches past him to sink his fingers Ben’s chest, watching that smug grin slip off his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I am sorry for the cliffhanger please dont hate me also there is one chapter left. I love you so much thank you for reading


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this took so long, don't hate me xxx
> 
> (This is the last chapter, thank you so much for reading and sending your feedback. Love youx)

_“Can you draw a wolf?”_

_Zayn furrows his brows, frowning at his best friend where he lays with his fists propped under his chin and elbows digging into the ground as he watches Zayn draw. “A wolf? I don’t know what those look like.”_

_“Papa says they live behind our house. Maybe you can come see when we go?”_

_“I’m not allowed in the woods, James. I’m six.”_

_“My Papa will come, he is strong.”_

_Zayn goes back to drawing. “Mum will say no.”_

_James sighs, flopping down on the floor next to the piece of parchment._

_“The woods aren’t scary. It’s the market that is.”_

_Zayn frowns at him again. He wants to shake his head and tell James he is wrong but he remembers James’ Papa talking to his mum, about James’ brother who had been attacked on the way home. He didn’t understand, but he had been scared. And he doesn’t want to make James scared._

_They are moving in two days because of it, and Zayn cried so hard when his mother told him because James is his best friend forever._

_**_

_Zayn sits in what is now the café. Which had been a diner fifty years ago, and he sits in a booth rather than his round table, but his position is the same. Looking through the window he can keep an eye on the stand, the young woman who is working with her daughter. The old woman that used to work there passed away ten years ago, and for some reason, he misses seeing her so bad it aches –_

_“Excuse me?”_

_Zayn looks up, eyeing the man that stands in front of him. He is young, maybe sixteen or seventeen, and he looks oddly familiar. His brown eyes are kind, his full lips forming a smile that makes his cheeks round and they flush a nice pink color._

_“I eat lunch here every day and I always see you here,” he says as he slides into the seat across from Zayn without asking first. Zayn doesn’t seem to mind though, even though he dreads when people come up to him. Louis always gets jealous, but he left him here to do something he wouldn’t tell him about._

_It is a bit strange, so he stiffens, eyeing the kind looking boy awkwardly._

_“I’ve only lived here about two weeks. From another town a few hours away.” He holds out his hand and Zayn hesitates before taking it into his own. His skin is warm, soft. “Name’s John.”_

_“Zayn,” he introduces, even though Louis always warms about telling people his name. But there’s something about this guy –_

_John nudges a head towards the stand, where Zayn had just been looking. “Do you know them?”_

_Zayn stiffens even more. He is quite sure he had been discreet about his staring. “No.”_

_John lets out a soft chuckle, cheeks burning red even more. “I fancy the girl. She’s quite beautiful.”_

_Zayn usually feels protective of the girl, wanting to find the old men that come up to her after they leave the market and scare the shit out of them in to staying away, because her heartbeat always picks up when they touch her arm. But it makes him smile, and John is younger, and looks so kind –“_

_“You should talk to her.”_

_John bites around his grin. “I might.”_

_**_

_Zayn brings the cigarette to his lips. It’s a new habit of his, one that he doesn’t like a whole lot but it calms him when he really needs it. He is irritated. He isn’t Harry’s babysitter –_

_But he is happy that Louis let them come here. A record shop. They have nothing like this where they’re from, nothing like this in the marketplace. He even bought him a cassette player, which is probably to make up for the fact that he has nearly completely shut Zayn out of his life these last few years._

_It doesn’t make up for it, at all. But it’s nice._

_Zayn flicks the cigarette, stomping on it before he walks inside, not caring if Harry follows. He is supposed to watch him, but Harry will stay by him because the boy does anything Louis asks him to –_

_“Welcome. Looking for anything specific today?”_

_He looks quite familiar with his soft, kind eyes. His cheeks are round, hair a golden brown that springs out in curls around his head. But they are quite far away from home, having come here because Louis needed to meet up with someone and he hadn’t wanted to leave them for too long, so the chance of Zayn having seen the boy before is slim._

_“I just got my first cassette player,” Zayn tells him. He doesn’t know how to interact with people, and he really hopes that he isn’t too awkward._

_The boy, who is maybe sixteen, frowns at him, but there is amusement in his eyes that makes them squint somewhat. “For the first time? Aren’t you like twenty?”_

_Zayn shrugs, giving him a smile shy._

_“Well, tell me what kind of music you like –“_

_Twenty minutes later, he is at the register with eight new cassettes, and a sunshiney Harry, whose spirits stay up even though Zayn purposefully ignores him. It’s annoying, but for some reason, Zayn is able to keep his spirits up too at the moment._

_“Well, I hope you enjoy them,” the man says, handing Zayn his bag._

_Zayn smiles. “Thank you -?“_

_The boy smiles, eyes crinkling some. “Geoff.”_

_++_

Zayn feels heavy, sinking into the mattress. His eyes are stitched closed, trying to hold onto sleep. It has been a good sleep, even though there was dream, after dream.

_“He is waking up.”_

_“You should probably get out of here Harry.”_

Zayn drifts off again, sighing because he wants more sleep. He feels numb, stitched to the mattress –

Soft fingers touch his forehead and he wrinkles his nose. She doesn’t smell right –

_“Niall, I think he is waking up –“_

_“Zayn?”_

Zayn groans, hand smoothing out because he wants to pull Liam close to him. Feel his warmth, kiss those full lips, see those cute eyes that are always heavy with sleep in the morning.

Those kind eyes, like James, John and Geoff’s –

_“Zayn wake up.”_

Liam isn’t beside him, and that’s Niall speaking. He blinks his eyes open, fingers gripping into the sheets where Liam should be.

Pain makes his chest feel heavy as he remembers and he clenches his eyes shut, trying desperately like Niall showed him to feel Liam but there is nothing. Panic grips at his throat, rolls sobs off his tongue as he tries harder.

“Zayn,” Niall says quietly, voice filled with concerned. It’s probably because the tears pouring down his cheeks. There is fucking nothing –

“Zayn,” Niall says firmly, gently pressing his hand to wipe at Zayn’s forehead. It is such an unlike Niall gesture to do. But it only lasts a moment before Niall is gripping Zayn’s chin roughly and making him look at him. “Calm down.”

“Liam,” he says weakly, anger starting to build in him as Niall’s words makes the panic go away. “Where is Ben? I am going to fucking kill him –“

“He’s dead,” Niall explains simply. “Ben is dead. I killed him.”

It doesn’t make Zayn feel any better, and he babbles, pain and tears coming out in his voice. “I can’t feel him, Niall. I can’t –“

Niall grips his chin a little rougher. “ _Calm down_ , and listen to me, Zayn. Liam isn’t dead.”

Zayn blinks his eyes open. They feel swollen and heavy and he just stares at the older vampire, tongue heavy in his mouth because Niall keeps using that tone on him and it is pissing him off and he doesn’t understand -

“Well, I’m pretty sure he’s not.”

It isn’t possible. He doesn’t feel Liam – Liam is dead, he is.

Niall gives him a soft look, tilting his head some. “He’s transitioning.”

 

Liam lies on Niall’s bed, hands resting next to his sides. His eyes are closed, lips parted slightly and his skin white, completely lack of color.

Zayn sits beside him, after a girl he hadn’t recognized moved from the seat there when he had walked in. Niall had told him they were taking turns keeping an eye on him, but the rest of them were currently at Louis’ house.

His skin is cold, freezing to touch. There is no heartbeat, no life in him at all. Zayn doesn’t understand, confusion hurts him but it just mixes in with the pain. It cripples him, overwhelms his body because he is touching Liam and he isn’t there –

Niall stands by the door, arms crossed. “This was all Liam, so when I tell you what happened, I’m going to need you not to react, okay?”

A growl erupts in Zayn’s chest, and he doesn’t mean for it to happen but he doesn’t care. How is he supposed to not react when is boyfriend, his soulmate is lying dead right in front of him –

Possibly transitioning into a vampire. _Maybe_.

“Liam convinced Harry that he should take precautions, in case Ben managed to get to him, or if Ben killed all of us and he had to leave the shelter.”

Zayn clenches his eyes shut, flattening his hand on Liam’s chest. Nothing, but his own chest fills with sadness, hinted with anger but he can’t focus on that yet -

“He said he found a loophole to get past my command. Your blood. We didn’t realize Harry’s scent in your house was unusual, because he was the one that found you.”

“He attacked me?” Zayn said weakly, resting his cheek against Liam’s chest, trying to trick himself into hearing a heartbeat. He feels like his strength is quickly slipping out of him.

“Yeah. I don’t think either one of them were expecting Liam passing out too,” Niall goes on, walking into the room and sitting on the end of Liam’s bed. There is a hard set to his mouth, his eyes angry.

“I wanted Harry to tell you this, but Louis hid him away the moment you showed signs of waking up.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything. He feels too weak to let his anger bother him.

“You were out two days –“

“Niall,” Zayn interrupts, closing his eyes shut again. “Can you just please tell me how this happened?”

“Harry didn’t bring Liam to the shelter. Or he tried to, but you know Liam. They showed up sometime during the fight.”

A sob chokes in his throat. He can barely focus on Niall’s words, let alone his confusion about his feelings about Liam’s transition. Just pain, is the only feeling he is sure of.

“Your determined boyfriend convinced Harry that if he used himself as bait, safe because he had vampire blood in him, either Ben will lose the only thing he could use against me, or distract Ben enough that he’s vulnerable to attack. Harry says Ben found them too soon though, they were hoping to come out when we had taken down more vampires.”

“He didn’t use Liam for leverage,” Zayn mutters. “Just broke his neck in a blink.”

Niall grimaces, reaching out to slide his hands against Liam’s calf. He hesitates, lips parting for a moment and regret crosses his features. “To hurt me. You heard him, he has killed every Payne since Leonard to hurt me. And yeah, he wants this town, and he wanted to outrun my clan, not have me give the town up to him willingly. Where is the fun in that, right?”

Zayn doesn’t return the small smile that Niall sends his way. It’s too sad though, and if he weren’t unwilling to move an inch away from Liam’s side, he would try to comfort the older vampire.

“Liam doesn’t know. I would like you to tell him,” Niall says. “That is weak of me, I know that. Not a very clan leader thing to do, but –“

“If he wakes up.”

Niall nods. “He is going to, Zayn. And he will need your blood to transition. And I’m leaving the decision up to you, whether you give it to him or not. But if you don’t, please call me first. I have to apologize to Liam.”

“Where are you going?” Zayn asks, instead of answering to that because it hurts him too much.

“You’re going home,” Niall tells him, standing up. “Bring Liam home.”

 

Zayn trembles, even though Liam isn’t heavy. He isn’t heavy at all, really, but Zayn feels like he is being weighed down. His knees buckle as he places Liam on his bed, unmade but the sheets are cold since they haven’t been slept on in so long.

His cheeks are wet from Zayn’s tears, and he wipes them away, pressing his lips to Liam’s cold cheek. “Baby, please wake up,” he murmurs.

Nothing –

 

Zayn doesn’t leave Liam’s side, and Niall comes back with a bag of blood that still rests on the nightstand. Hunger feels better than the emptiness he feels every time he tries to feel Liam.

 

Two days later. Liam has been out for four days. Feels like years, and Supernatural plays quietly on Liam’s television, the one he brought into the bedroom to hopefully drown out his thoughts. It doesn’t work.

“Hey.”

Zayn jumps, having not heard Harry come in because his senses are dull – almost human like. Another bag of blood rests on the nightstand, and he sees Harry is carrying one.

Harry stands in the doorway, a nervous smile on his lips. He can’t feel Louis, but he is sure Louis is somewhere around.

“I um, I am sorry.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything, just stares at him. He slides a hand down Liam’s chest, dipping his fingers under the blanket that lies across his torso.

“You hated me for a long time because I took Louis from you,” he says. “I thought if I did everything in my power to make Liam as safe as possible it would make up for that.”

Zayn doesn’t remind him that he is no longer mad about the Louis thing, and he is genuine when he says, “It did, thank you, Harry.”

If he wakes up.

Harry smiles slightly. “You’re not mad?”

Zayn pulls himself out of bed, padding over to Harry. Everything hurts, and he grimaces as he gets to Harry’s side, reaching out to take the blood bag from him with a weak smile that has nothing but sadness behind it, but he does try.

“I am not mad at you,” he croaks, tapping Harry’s arm gently.

Harry nods, looking past Zayn at Liam for a moment. “Eat something, yeah? Be strong for when Liam wakes up. You know it is going to hurt him if he sees you like this. And it will help you decide, on ehm – whether you help his transition.”

“I’ve already decided,” Zayn says quietly, padding back to the bed and placing the blood bag on the nightstand with the others before he curls back against Liam’s side. Harry lingers for a moment before he finally leaves with a whispered goodbye.

 

_Liam links their fingers, pulling him so he sits under the tree that has bloomed with purple flowers. He has an easy smile on his face, eyes bright as he looks at Zayn and pulls out a carving knife._

_“You’re a dork,” Zayn says fondly, watching Liam as he carves into the tree, tongue trapped between his teeth and his skin glowing._

_Z+L 4evr_

_Zayn snorts, sliding his fingers over the letters, right underneath the old Payne + Malik._

_“Forever, Zayn.”_

_They are muttered against his skin, Liam moving his lips against his cheek, nuzzling under his jaw._

They press against his throat, move against his cheek and hover over his lips. The “Zayn,” is soft.

Zayn blinks his eyes open as Liam stares down at him with a warm smile. He blinks his eyes a few more times, trying to wake up because he is so sick of dreaming. He just wants Liam, for real –

He doesn’t like this dream, because Liam smells off. It’s Liam, but different. And his fingers, sliding up Zayn’s chest, are freezing. With shaking fingers he slides his own hand against Liam’s chest –

“Nothing,” he murmurs quietly. Liam catches his hand before he can pull it away, linking their fingers together and keeping his hand there.

Liam gives him a pained look, and Zayn can feel him – can feel his own pain mix with Zayn’s.

He gasps slightly, eyes widening. He clenches his eyes, feeling Liam. No breath catches in his lungs, no heart beats in his chest, but they are _one_.

“I’m sorry,” Liam gasps when Zayn opens his eyes. Tears pool at his eyelids. “I didn’t think this was going to hurt you this badly.”

Zayn reaches up, wiping his eyes. “I told you it would.”

Liam nods, nuzzling his face against Zayn’s hand when he cups his cheek. “I know,” is all he says before he leans down and kisses Zayn. It’s slow, but it hurts – every drag of his lips tugging at his chest. Tears choke in his throat and Liam pushes him flat against the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Liam murmurs, nuzzling his nose under Zayn’s jaw. He kisses Zayn so softly, like now Zayn is the breakable one.

He is.

Zayn tilts his head, eyes falling shut.

“It feels weird,” Liam mutters, pushing up some. “I can hear the town, I feel every shift of fabric on my skin. Just want to focus on you, though.”

Zayn blinks his eyes open, sliding his hands up Liam’s chest.

“You feel so weak,” Liam says, voice broken. He reaches over, grabbing one of the blood bags. “Please, Zayn? You need to drink.”

Zayn nods, lips parting to wrap around the tube at the top. He probably needs to drink ten of these to feel back to normal. He sucks it down, head clearing enough that he can really focus on Liam – and him being here, for real.

Liam drops the bag, reaching for another but Zayn cups the back of his neck, tugging him back. Liam starts to say something, but Zayn interrupts –

“You need to drink.”

Liam gives him a long look before he nods. He leans down, kissing Zayn. Their lips slot together for a few moments before Liam’s teeth sink into his lower lip, sharp but it doesn’t hurt. It makes the ache disappear, comfort and warmth slide through him and power –

Liam groans, letting Zayn’s lip go roughly before his lips move to the column of his throat and his teeth sink in. Zayn wraps his arms around Liam’s back, pressing him harder into him.

He feels when the transition is done, when Liam becomes a vampire. He feels it in himself, remembering how it felt when he had turned. But it is stronger, feels more complete, like he is transitioning as well, into something more complete.

Liam gasps when he pulls away, hovering his face over Zayn’s. His eyes widen, blowing out black before they fall back into their kind brown.

“Do I look any different?”

Zayn grins, shaking his head. “Paler, but not as pale as you were earlier.”

“My eyes? Sometimes yours get black.”

“Beautiful,” Zayn sighs, cupping the back of his neck. “Kind. Still brown.”

Liam teases him with a grin before Zayn is being moved. He isn’t as fast as Zayn, but it surprises him and he gasps before his back hits the wall of the hallway, Liam’s arms under the back of his thighs, holding him up.

“I feel strong,” Liam chuckles lightly. Zayn slides his hands down the sides of Liam’s face, pressing his lips to his forehead.

“I feel stronger, with you.”

Liam nods. “I know. I can feel what you feel.”

“I couldn’t feel you,” Zayn says roughly. “While you were transitioning, I couldn’t feel you at all. And it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, and I’m glad you were out so you didn’t have to feel my pain.”

A broken look crosses Liam’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

“I tried for two days, right next to you. Wouldn’t leave your side.”

He smiles, because he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. He wants Liam, and he can’t figure out why he ever considered not having Liam for forever.

The corner of Liam’s lips quirk up. “You haven’t showered in two days? That’s why you stink?”

Zayn frowns at him. He doesn’t need to shower. “You haven’t either.”

Liam moves them easily, pushing Zayn through the bathroom door. “Wanna shower together –“

His words die off when he drops Zayn to his feet, Zayn’s lips moving to the curve of his neck to slide his teeth against Liam’s skin. He groans when they sink in, fingers digging into his sides and pushing him backwards.

“Zayn,” he breathes. “Turn around.”

Zayn pulls away, looking at his lips before he turns –

If he could breathe, the breath would get stuck in his lungs. He watches his eyes widen, black and skin dark under his eyelids. He is paler than the photos, hair a wreck around his head.

Liam’s smile scrapes against the back of his neck, and he watches in the mirror as Liam’s eyes go dark, the way his fingers look sliding across Zayn’s abdomen as they dip lower.

“Now you can see,” Liam murmurs, hooking his chin on Zayn’s shoulders. “What my whole world looks like.”

Zayn bites his lip, wanting to keep his eyes open as Liam slides his hand over him, cupping him through his joggers. Liam bites at the back of his neck, not breaking the skin and he groans roughly, feeling the way Liam grinds against his back –

“Let me apologize, yeah?”

Zayn turns then, not wanting to look away from his reflection but he hates the way Liam’s voice breaks. He cups his cheeks, kissing him roughly – not as afraid to break him.

“Stop saying that,” Zayn urges. “I am upset for you, and maybe a little upset you went behind my back, but you’re here, you’re safe –alive, and that really outweighs any bad.”

Liam grins, fingers digging into Zayn’s hips enough to walk him back against the counter some. “Thought you said vampires were dead.”

Zayn pouts at him. “No more talking about death, okay?”

Liam nods. “Fine by me, babe.”

He pushes his grin against Zayn’s lips, hands cradling his hips to grind them together. Zayn growls, moving Liam roughly so it’s him that presses against the sink. Liam gasps, fingers digging into Zayn’s hips, no doubt feeling the mix of emotions that run through Zayn.

Hurt, anger, happiness – arousal. Liam moans when Zayn nips at his bottom lip, fingers pushing down the joggers that hug his waist. It’s fumbled and quick, but Zayn feels desperate – desperate to feel Liam in every way.

“Right here,” Liam insists, holding Zayn still as he tries to move them back and out of the bathroom. Zayn nods, latching their lips back together before he turns Liam.

He moves his lips to Liam’s neck, watching the muscles in Liam’s back flex in the mirror as Liam’s hands drag up his back, the way his own eyes flash black when Liam grinds their hips together again.

Liam makes a lovely sound in his throat, one that makes Zayn’s fingers grab at the waistband of his joggers, right before the sound material ripping fills the room. Liam chuckles, a grin pressed to Zayn’s temple.

It is quick, rushed and messy the way Zayn turns Liam and stretches him with spit slicked fingers. He hooks his chin on Liam’s shoulder, watching Liam in the mirror as his eyes fall shut and lips part around his moans. It feels like he can’t waste time, desperate to slip into Liam and feel that connection that makes him feel like they’re one even though they have forever.

Zayn groans, slicking his fingers around his cock and nudging Liam to bend forward more. “We have forever,” he breathes harshly, lips gentle against Liam’s shoulder.

Liam grins at him through the mirror. “You better not take forever.”

Zayn couldn’t if he tried, and he pushes in slowly, latching his teeth into Liam’s skin.

It is quick and rushed, the way he thrusts into Liam, fingers curling around the other’s throat to pull them flushed together. The way Liam’s moans feel like they pass his own lips, the pleasure building in Liam’s spine curling down his own.

The flashes behind his eyelids, of Liam and him, not memories but something more – like flashes of whatever _forever_ has in store for them.

Liam comes with a gasp as Zayn staggers behind him, both of their eyes finding that mirror that so for so long teased Zayn. The happiness he has is more so for Liam than himself, that Liam doesn’t have to deal with the trouble of staring for hours on end with no avail.

Liam turns when Zayn pulls out, catching his jaw with thick fingers and pulling him into a kiss that has him pressing into the bathroom wall. Liam moves him quickly, from space to space, as if trying out his new speed.

“Stop, makin’ me dizzy,” Zayn complains, latching his lips back to Liam’s. His boyfriend grins, moving him fast again until he is pressed to the back of the couch, back bending some with the force of Liam’s new strength.

“D’you forgive me?” Liam breathes quietly, pulling back with a vulnerable look in his wide eyes.

Zayn curls a hand around the back of his neck, nodding. “The worst pain I have ever felt was seeing you lie there, but the best was having you wake up.”

 

Liam curls around him, pressed to his side with a cheek lying against Zayn’s chest. They are finally calm, settling into the night and each other with Supernatural playing in the background. Liam listens quietly as Zayn tells him about the memories of his ancestors, of how they died and Niall’s regret. He listens to Zayn’s fears, of Liam not waking up, with guilt filling him. Zayn hadn’t warned him about the emotions, so much stronger than before, when he was human.

It’s a weird thought to consider, but he doesn’t regret it. He only regrets the pain he can feel still lingering on Zayn when he talks about those few days. That same pain that gets stronger when Zayn tells him with an apologetic voice about his parents. Liam isn’t angry with Niall, at least – he isn’t right now. He can’t feel anything other than satiated with Zayn here with him, and the promise that he will be forever.

“Zayn,” Liam interrupts. Zayn is half way through telling him about how he hopes him and Harry can be friends, even if it will be hard. “I love you.”

Zayn looks down at him, a grin covering his lips. It is bright, in his eyes, and Liam can feel the happiness in him, and it matches his own. “I love you too, babe.”

Liam crawls up some, to bracket Zayn’s head with his arms against the back of the couch. “We are like proper soulmates.”

Zayn chuckles low, hands sliding up his chest. “Somethin’ like that.”


End file.
